Familiarity with intuition and synchronicty?
- Thread starter magicfinger
- Start date
:kissingclosed:that's good advice I may have serious issues with whatever for whatever reason but I don't paint a picture that isn't true for me. I cannot begin to put into words what goes on inside my head. the only way I can explain it is when you live a certain way your whole life you do a total 360 not only once but a few times in your life because you truly believe this is where I am supposed to be and what I deserve then it all changes in a day and you feel like you have lived 100 lifetimes because of all the relationships and jobs, children you never met and awakenings .. I was told one day after being sober for a while I would have a spiritual awakening.. Well, I cant tell you how many times I thought that happened, only to wake up one day and be back exactly where I started... Hating the world and wishing I would have died a long time ago with the people I truly loved. That's a hole that can never be filled and when I do find someone I can relate to or tolerate, it starts all over again.
I was told once that God has big plans for me, that's what I want to believe whether it's true or not. Hell, I don't know, I just try to get through the day without doing something that would justify me getting locked up for the rest of my life. I woke up one day and the whole world everyone was retarded, self-righteous and lazy. That's when I realized the complacencies, I realized I'm the problem. I am where I am because of a left turn somewhere when I should have stayed on the main road.
I'll try anything but the truth isn't always the best Idea if I was to go tell my girl that I think she is going to die soon, she won't take that well, as a matter of fact I know she won't because I have told her in the past with all the drugs she is on it scares me but now she has Lupus and I do believe it was drug induced. So now I tell her every day whether I am in a good mood or not that she is hot instead of saying "I'm worried about you, you look like hell".. no thanks, I do love her even though she has put me through more in two years than anyone that ever hated me has. I can't stop her from doing anything she want's to do so all I do is wonder if I should stay for the finaly or just ignore reality and leave her and let the bills pile up. I cant do either really and the shitty part is I am sober. This is kind of like my therapy sessions only you don't have the authority to have me committed that's why I am a little more honest here than I am when talking face to face with people.
- Legion
hehe just kidding that was my nick for years on social media boards.
Thank you for your advice I will try this thing you call Truth. If I sound angry I am not I just give off that aura I really appreciate you being here.
You make a lot of sense actually Armand. Perhaps when telling the truth would cause hurt it is just better to say nothing or change the subject. Your not lieing but also not hurting their feelings. Wands has inspired me too! I will consider my words more carefully now.that's good advice I may have serious issues with whatever for whatever reason but I don't paint a picture that isn't true for me. I cannot begin to put into words what goes on inside my head. the only way I can explain it is when you live a certain way your whole life you do a total 360 not only once but a few times in your life because you truly believe this is where I am supposed to be and what I deserve then it all changes in a day and you feel like you have lived 100 lifetimes because of all the relationships and jobs, children you never met and awakenings .. I was told one day after being sober for a while I would have a spiritual awakening.. Well, I cant tell you how many times I thought that happened, only to wake up one day and be back exactly where I started... Hating the world and wishing I would have died a long time ago with the people I truly loved. That's a hole that can never be filled and when I do find someone I can relate to or tolerate, it starts all over again.
I was told once that God has big plans for me, that's what I want to believe whether it's true or not. Hell, I don't know, I just try to get through the day without doing something that would justify me getting locked up for the rest of my life. I woke up one day and the whole world everyone was retarded, self-righteous and lazy. That's when I realized the complacencies, I realized I'm the problem. I am where I am because of a left turn somewhere when I should have stayed on the main road.
I'll try anything but the truth isn't always the best Idea if I was to go tell my girl that I think she is going to die soon, she won't take that well, as a matter of fact I know she won't because I have told her in the past with all the drugs she is on it scares me but now she has Lupus and I do believe it was drug induced. So now I tell her every day whether I am in a good mood or not that she is hot instead of saying "I'm worried about you, you look like hell".. no thanks, I do love her even though she has put me through more in two years than anyone that ever hated me has. I can't stop her from doing anything she want's to do so all I do is wonder if I should stay for the finaly or just ignore reality and leave her and let the bills pile up. I cant do either really and the shitty part is I am sober. This is kind of like my therapy sessions only you don't have the authority to have me committed that's why I am a little more honest here than I am when talking face to face with people.
- Legion
hehe just kidding that was my nick for years on social media boards.
Thank you for your advice I will try this thing you call Truth. If I sound angry I am not I just give off that aura I really appreciate you being here.
WitchAndShaman
Truth Seeker
that's good advice I may have serious issues with whatever for whatever reason but I don't paint a picture that isn't true for me. I cannot begin to put into words what goes on inside my head. the only way I can explain it is when you live a certain way your whole life you do a total 360 not only once but a few times in your life because you truly believe this is where I am supposed to be and what I deserve then it all changes in a day and you feel like you have lived 100 lifetimes because of all the relationships and jobs, children you never met and awakenings .. I was told one day after being sober for a while I would have a spiritual awakening.. Well, I cant tell you how many times I thought that happened, only to wake up one day and be back exactly where I started... Hating the world and wishing I would have died a long time ago with the people I truly loved. That's a hole that can never be filled and when I do find someone I can relate to or tolerate, it starts all over again.
I was told once that God has big plans for me, that's what I want to believe whether it's true or not. Hell, I don't know, I just try to get through the day without doing something that would justify me getting locked up for the rest of my life. I woke up one day and the whole world everyone was retarded, self-righteous and lazy. That's when I realized the complacencies, I realized I'm the problem. I am where I am because of a left turn somewhere when I should have stayed on the main road.
I'll try anything but the truth isn't always the best Idea if I was to go tell my girl that I think she is going to die soon, she won't take that well, as a matter of fact I know she won't because I have told her in the past with all the drugs she is on it scares me but now she has Lupus and I do believe it was drug induced. So now I tell her every day whether I am in a good mood or not that she is hot instead of saying "I'm worried about you, you look like hell".. no thanks, I do love her even though she has put me through more in two years than anyone that ever hated me has. I can't stop her from doing anything she want's to do so all I do is wonder if I should stay for the finaly or just ignore reality and leave her and let the bills pile up. I cant do either really and the shitty part is I am sober. This is kind of like my therapy sessions only you don't have the authority to have me committed that's why I am a little more honest here than I am when talking face to face with people.
- Legion
hehe just kidding that was my nick for years on social media boards.
Thank you for your advice I will try this thing you call Truth. If I sound angry I am not I just give off that aura I really appreciate you being here.
Armand, your post shows your passion and your pain. I pray that you continue to grow within that clearly difficult path you have been living.
You are right Armand to choose your truths carefully at times. You can be certain there is no judgement on that point from me...I can’t cast any shade on anyone.
Lynn is correct - and I think you are too - that being honest does not imply that one should be “brutally honest”. My belief is that it does not help the universe to volunteer bad or harsh news to others just because of a desire to be true to yourself. I believe an unanswered question - an empty or null response - is just as honest as any other.
But I think you and Lynn probably got the inference of my statement which is that electing not to lie somehow removed a block for me. Somehow consciously getting out of my own way seemed to open up my already psychic self to a broader and deeper range of experiences. I don’t think I became better than I was but I did become somehow bigger than I was.
So the trigger was in that timeframe, I found at a retail store in a basket of $15.00 rings just one - one of about 70 or 80 rings - marked with the word “truth”. I looked through all of those rings with words like “hope” and “love” to find just this one “truth” left in the basket. I was compelled to buy it because it suddenly had some unusually deep meaning to me within the context of my life on that specific day. It was at that moment that I took the choice to only speak the truth. I have put on that ring every single day for the last 25 years.
And we love you too, Armand. PNF and our lives are blessed with your presence..
Mokey
Magically Delicious
Main road, right or left turns. It matters not which you choose. It's not wrong or right. It's your path.
Things may seem like we made the wrong 'turn, choice, or decision'. No. We learn from them. Add experiences to our overall journey. Experiences, each what may feel good, bad, or of insignificance stay with us through all of time.
You'll eventually experience something in this life or into the Ether and beyond.. Where in the end you'll say "aha!". Pain, depression, anger, Injustice all serve a positive purpose eventually. Whether it is for you or for another, nobody can say. You'll just KNOW when it happens.
Feel that pain and hurt for as long as you need to. You said yourself that you've grasped on to positive experiences throughout your life. You know they exist. If it feels like you fall back 'to the same old place', just remember it is never the same.
You've lived and learned new lessons and feelings. No matter if you think they meant nothing or taught you nothing doesn't matter. Because they did. I wish for you to see these things at the times in your life when you need them most. If you think back on life, you'll remember the times that this did happen. I say that because you are still here.
You've reached for that hope, even if it was so small you, yourself, didn't even see it. It's always there. It doesn't leave or abandon you. When you're ready you'll find it again. Even if you don't know it at the time.
Peace, love, and light my beloved friend.
WitchAndShaman
Truth Seeker
Totally agree 7. I’ve heard much wisdom in Armand’s posts too.
I haven't said much on this because I don't need to. The amount of wisdom found here leaves me in awe. Wise, wonderful, loving members I see here.
Wands you are so inspiring. It seems like your life is being guided for sure. You must have some awesome guides.
WitchAndShaman
Truth Seeker
Thank you sincerely for the compliment Lynne.
I think some of my zen comes from my desire to always see people do well tempered a little of course by the risks and the costs. I think that is why I decided to be a professional educator.
As for my guides, I’d like to see them show themselves in a more overt manner. I sometimes think they have taken off my training wheels and let me go...and my balance isn’t so great. I suspect they are there somewhere very quietly nudging me along with their fingers (if my guides actually have fingers) crossed.