My gosh, this is a question written in layers like an onion. So I’m answering within the assumption that - since the question uses the word “selectively” - we’re talking about intelligent spirits. The best part is I’ve never thought about this question before. Unfortunately, my own personal experiences with what I think might have been ghosts are few.
I’m going to start my diatribe with an example that is nearly opposite the question. I won’t repeat the related lengthy details here because they already exist in another PNF thread.
So a friend of mine “saw” a ghost - did not tell me so - but less than two minutes later, I “saw” the same ghost in the exact same spot. I’d say that based upon timing, placement, and our descriptions of the ghost that these two sightings could be considered to be essentially concurrent.
I accept this might better serve as an example of a residual, non-intelligent haunting. However, I have no contrary indication that this event might instead have been an intelligent spirit. In that case, a spirit might have elected to manifest to two persons.
Consider that occurrence. I’ll ponder what other contributions I might be able to post later.