Pumpkins, pumpkins everywhere

Beer, also, what are your favorite adult beverages using pumpkin?Pumpkin Ale

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Mr. Autumn Man Walking Down Street With Cup Of Coffee, Wearing Sweater Over Plaid Collared Shirt
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Mr. Autumn Man, enjoying a seasonal stroll.
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NEWSOctober 10, 2012
VOL 48 ISSUE 41 Lifestyle


BOSTON—The twigs and acorns crunching pleasurably beneath his boots, Mr. Autumn Man Dennis Clemons, 32, reportedly strolled down Massachusetts Avenue on Wednesday wearing a gray sweater over a plaid collared shirt as he cradled a cup of pumpkin-spiced coffee and relished the crisp October morning.

“Nothing beats autumn in New England,” said His Excellency, the Duke of Fall, who began the day swaddled in a warm flannel blanket, gazing out the window at the golden-hued landscape, as is his custom this time of year. “Everywhere the leaves are changing and the temperature is starting to drop off. You can smell it in the air.”

“Tonight it may even dip into the 30s,” added the cozy autumnal personage, who at several points wrapped both hands around his warm container of coffee and inhaled deeply. “Perfect weather for building a fire.”

Mr. Fall, who sources speculate loves Thanksgiving, butternut squash soup, homecoming parades, “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow,” apple-picking, and haunted hayrides, emerges reliably every year around this time in his traditional uniform, sometimes alternating his iconic sweater with a fleece vest or pullover.

The Autumnal Ambassador is also believed to be an avid consumer of seasonal produce, his home and hearth redolent of roasting Indian corn, gourds, and other root vegetables.

“I’m thinking about taking a trip to Salem with my girlfriend this weekend,” said Mr. Autumn Man, trying to decide whether to wear beige or brown corduroy pants for the excursion with his leather-gloved counterpart, Ms. Autumn Woman. “The variety of colors is incredible once you get out of the city.”

“Between the trees and the forest floor, it’s like a giant mural,” continued the veritable High Priest of the Harvest Season, adding that he would soon have to rake his driveway, an activity for which he will most certainly don a cashmere scarf.