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Hello PF,
8 years ago I had a near death experience. I have had multiple since then but this is an experience I wanted to share. It was my very first time getting high and I was all alone.
I was younger, and dumber first off. This was a huge learning lesson for me. Cannabis has been illegal for far too long in the USA. It's an immoral prohibition. I ignorantly assumed that because synthetic cannabis was legal, it must be safer than normal cannabis (facepalm I know). I was naive and assumed the government actually cared about people's safety. I couldn't have been more wrong.
I rolled up a cigarette of the chemically sprayed herbs and lit up. It was called Head Trip and the packaging had a skull on the front right next to the not for human consumption written on the front. But it was sold for human consumption? Everyone knew that? A warning I should have listened to. But I just bought it at the gas station, the clerk didn't even ask for id which is good because I was too young for one.
I inhale and hold it in. Take another drag. And another. I have no clue how many hits I took, but it burned very fast and I smoked it very fast. Talking maybe 90 seconds or less. I instantly feel a big wave of hypertension.
I stand up and I can't recall my name. I can't recall what I was just doing... All I can remember is I just smoked something. And now I am really f*cked up. I feel like I am in a dream. Nothing feels real. Reality is breaking apart. My decision making obviously impaired. My brain obviously frying. I am thoroughly freaked out I can't remember my name and I'm less than a minute into my "trip". I decide I have to kill myself to wake myself up and I must be in a coma. I have to be in a coma. I start down the stairs to find a kitchen knife to cut my arteries. But on the way down the stairs, I forgot what I was doing. Suddenly the only thing that was real was my heart rate. The tunnel vision growing blacker. I have the sense enough to know my heart shouldn't be going this fast and that I am about to faint. I take my beats per minute with my watch. I'm over 250 bpm.... Closer to 300... I feel myself getting dizzy.... The lights are going out. I can feel myself getting weaker, getting heavier, getting faint. There was no time to panic. No time for fear. I feel the cold hard tile beneath my feet and move quickly to the carpet before... BAM.... Darkness..... Stillness... Silence... Am I dead?
After what was only a quick moment it felt like but it could've been a while, I open my eyes on the carpet, I feel my lungs inhaling and exhaling. I feel the carpet against my face, against my body. It felt kind of good. I can breathe but my muscles are so weak. I feel so incredibly heavy. I begin to hallucinate after coming to. Visions of Bart Simpson beating me with a skateboard. Voices talking to me in my head, a voice of a child repeating "hey... It's Carl.." Calmly. (Never knew a Carl) this genuinely freaked me out and I remembered that voice vividly for a long time afterwards. I feel my mind begin to wander from my body. I begin to have more visions. A Great Wall stretching horizon to horizon and I am looking up at it. Suddenly I am transported again to a front lawn of a house. Again I am transported but this time to a more astral plane.... Just blackness... Again I snap back to myself. I pray for strength for help. I pray to God, I pray to Jesus, in my mind. I could feel something listening I don't know what. I said I am not ready. I'm not ready to die. I'm tearing up thinking about that moment. I had a lot of fight left in me so I kept fighting.
That's when I believe my organs began shutting down. Vomit erupts without much warning. Lying face down in my vomit I have a surge of adrenaline, my brain lights up as I realize my oxygen is limited. I crawl forward with my elbows with all my might. I was so weak. But I wanted oxygen so bad. I start to hallucinate again. This time I am looking down at myself in 3rd person. I keep vomiting. Keep crawling. I can feel the carpet but it's getting less and less "real" as I look down at myself crawling. I go back to blackness but still conscious. I am in my mind. I can see the neurons firing. I can feel my body fighting. I felt every cell of my body fighting to hold on. Fighting to not let the cascading reaction that leads to death. I see myself in "predator vision" ( like alien vs predator). Every bone I can see. Every muscle I can see. Every blood vessel, nerve, tendon I can see it individually and look at each one at my will. I see a serpent inside of my esophagus. A snake is crawling out of my throat. I am choking again. Vomiting but this vision of a serpent is coming out not the bile I was actually vomiting. I see the serpent leave my throat and it wiggles away and disappears. I crawl forward again out of the new pools of vomit. I was vomiting different colors of bile. Orange, red, brown, green. Probably from my liver and kidneys paying the price for the poison in my veins. Blackness.....
I awake... The voices have stopped. The visions have stopped.... I am so weak. So so weak. My body feels weird. Still tripping..... Hurting.... Can't move... Need oxygen... Getting weaker.... I ask for death. I am done. I cry thinking of my family. Visions of my mom finding me dead in a pile of my vomit in the living room alone. F*ck. I f*cked up. Is this the end now? I have been hurting for so long. Hours alone on the floor. I am so scared and so weak. I just want escape. I fear I am in a coma again. This is it. I will be stuck a vegetable. My mind alive. My body dead. Because of me. I ask for death again instead of a coma. I beg for death. Release me. Take me into your arms god. But nothing.... I am alone. Blackness......
I awake. I open my eyes. I am alive..... The sun is going down..... How long have I been here? Hours? Days? Time seemed too far to understand. I felt so tired but I just woke up. My bones hurt from lying awkwardly. I crawl up the stairs to my bed. It must've been over 6 hours easily I was on the floor. Sleep. My bed feels nice. It's so comfortable. I feel warmth. A comforting buzz. I drift off to sleep....
I awake to a voice. It's my stepdad. "Hey where are the car keys" he asked. I can't answer. I can't make my brain form sentences correctly. Oh god am I brain damaged? All I know is am too tired to talk. I go back to sleep speaking nonsense.
I sleep another half day. Over 13 hours. I awake and realize what happened to me. I can speak...
For about 6 months to a year l had what I would call "spikes" or flashbacks where I would feel like I'm tripping again one the synthetic cannabis. Sometimes only for a few seconds. It would change my perception of time, so those seconds would feel very long.
I posted this so people would know the dangers of designer drugs. This was one of my first near death experiences. Luckily I was never so dumb again. I realized I need to do my own research about what I put I to my body and the FDA does NOT care about our health only our money.
8 years ago I had a near death experience. I have had multiple since then but this is an experience I wanted to share. It was my very first time getting high and I was all alone.
I was younger, and dumber first off. This was a huge learning lesson for me. Cannabis has been illegal for far too long in the USA. It's an immoral prohibition. I ignorantly assumed that because synthetic cannabis was legal, it must be safer than normal cannabis (facepalm I know). I was naive and assumed the government actually cared about people's safety. I couldn't have been more wrong.
I rolled up a cigarette of the chemically sprayed herbs and lit up. It was called Head Trip and the packaging had a skull on the front right next to the not for human consumption written on the front. But it was sold for human consumption? Everyone knew that? A warning I should have listened to. But I just bought it at the gas station, the clerk didn't even ask for id which is good because I was too young for one.
I inhale and hold it in. Take another drag. And another. I have no clue how many hits I took, but it burned very fast and I smoked it very fast. Talking maybe 90 seconds or less. I instantly feel a big wave of hypertension.
I stand up and I can't recall my name. I can't recall what I was just doing... All I can remember is I just smoked something. And now I am really f*cked up. I feel like I am in a dream. Nothing feels real. Reality is breaking apart. My decision making obviously impaired. My brain obviously frying. I am thoroughly freaked out I can't remember my name and I'm less than a minute into my "trip". I decide I have to kill myself to wake myself up and I must be in a coma. I have to be in a coma. I start down the stairs to find a kitchen knife to cut my arteries. But on the way down the stairs, I forgot what I was doing. Suddenly the only thing that was real was my heart rate. The tunnel vision growing blacker. I have the sense enough to know my heart shouldn't be going this fast and that I am about to faint. I take my beats per minute with my watch. I'm over 250 bpm.... Closer to 300... I feel myself getting dizzy.... The lights are going out. I can feel myself getting weaker, getting heavier, getting faint. There was no time to panic. No time for fear. I feel the cold hard tile beneath my feet and move quickly to the carpet before... BAM.... Darkness..... Stillness... Silence... Am I dead?
After what was only a quick moment it felt like but it could've been a while, I open my eyes on the carpet, I feel my lungs inhaling and exhaling. I feel the carpet against my face, against my body. It felt kind of good. I can breathe but my muscles are so weak. I feel so incredibly heavy. I begin to hallucinate after coming to. Visions of Bart Simpson beating me with a skateboard. Voices talking to me in my head, a voice of a child repeating "hey... It's Carl.." Calmly. (Never knew a Carl) this genuinely freaked me out and I remembered that voice vividly for a long time afterwards. I feel my mind begin to wander from my body. I begin to have more visions. A Great Wall stretching horizon to horizon and I am looking up at it. Suddenly I am transported again to a front lawn of a house. Again I am transported but this time to a more astral plane.... Just blackness... Again I snap back to myself. I pray for strength for help. I pray to God, I pray to Jesus, in my mind. I could feel something listening I don't know what. I said I am not ready. I'm not ready to die. I'm tearing up thinking about that moment. I had a lot of fight left in me so I kept fighting.
That's when I believe my organs began shutting down. Vomit erupts without much warning. Lying face down in my vomit I have a surge of adrenaline, my brain lights up as I realize my oxygen is limited. I crawl forward with my elbows with all my might. I was so weak. But I wanted oxygen so bad. I start to hallucinate again. This time I am looking down at myself in 3rd person. I keep vomiting. Keep crawling. I can feel the carpet but it's getting less and less "real" as I look down at myself crawling. I go back to blackness but still conscious. I am in my mind. I can see the neurons firing. I can feel my body fighting. I felt every cell of my body fighting to hold on. Fighting to not let the cascading reaction that leads to death. I see myself in "predator vision" ( like alien vs predator). Every bone I can see. Every muscle I can see. Every blood vessel, nerve, tendon I can see it individually and look at each one at my will. I see a serpent inside of my esophagus. A snake is crawling out of my throat. I am choking again. Vomiting but this vision of a serpent is coming out not the bile I was actually vomiting. I see the serpent leave my throat and it wiggles away and disappears. I crawl forward again out of the new pools of vomit. I was vomiting different colors of bile. Orange, red, brown, green. Probably from my liver and kidneys paying the price for the poison in my veins. Blackness.....
I awake... The voices have stopped. The visions have stopped.... I am so weak. So so weak. My body feels weird. Still tripping..... Hurting.... Can't move... Need oxygen... Getting weaker.... I ask for death. I am done. I cry thinking of my family. Visions of my mom finding me dead in a pile of my vomit in the living room alone. F*ck. I f*cked up. Is this the end now? I have been hurting for so long. Hours alone on the floor. I am so scared and so weak. I just want escape. I fear I am in a coma again. This is it. I will be stuck a vegetable. My mind alive. My body dead. Because of me. I ask for death again instead of a coma. I beg for death. Release me. Take me into your arms god. But nothing.... I am alone. Blackness......
I awake. I open my eyes. I am alive..... The sun is going down..... How long have I been here? Hours? Days? Time seemed too far to understand. I felt so tired but I just woke up. My bones hurt from lying awkwardly. I crawl up the stairs to my bed. It must've been over 6 hours easily I was on the floor. Sleep. My bed feels nice. It's so comfortable. I feel warmth. A comforting buzz. I drift off to sleep....
I awake to a voice. It's my stepdad. "Hey where are the car keys" he asked. I can't answer. I can't make my brain form sentences correctly. Oh god am I brain damaged? All I know is am too tired to talk. I go back to sleep speaking nonsense.
I sleep another half day. Over 13 hours. I awake and realize what happened to me. I can speak...
For about 6 months to a year l had what I would call "spikes" or flashbacks where I would feel like I'm tripping again one the synthetic cannabis. Sometimes only for a few seconds. It would change my perception of time, so those seconds would feel very long.
I posted this so people would know the dangers of designer drugs. This was one of my first near death experiences. Luckily I was never so dumb again. I realized I need to do my own research about what I put I to my body and the FDA does NOT care about our health only our money.
