Which Do You Prefer?

[JahaRa]

I have always believed that if someone does a random act of kindness, that I should thank them and then try to do something for someone else. I think of it as a flow of energy and it should touch one person then move on and touch the next. Examples are the following:
I had a neighbor who was really nice, so on impulse I gave her some home baked cranberry orange muffins. She thanked me, and then a day or two later, gave me a plate of home made cookies. I appreciated them, but felt uncomfortable about it, because I felt that she had taken my kind gesture as something that had to be repaid. IMO, this sort of made me feel awkward.

My current neighbor has severe health problems so Mr. Garnet shovels her walks whenever it snows. She insists on offering us stuff, like extra produce that she bought. I have already told her that we aren't seeking payment for such a little thing, but but each time I see her, she keeps trying to give us stuff to pay us back for the shoveling.

So which are you? The type that pays it forward, or the type that feels obligated and tries to pay it back?

I agree with you, but I see some who beleive they owe people who help them. They forget that they may have helped someone in the past. My Aunt is keeping a tally of everything she thinks she owes us because our mother helped her. She helped me when I was young, and she also was generous with all of us when we were kids. I feel bad for her because she worries about paying us all back to make up for how our mother helped her when she needed it. My mother did it because they were sisters, not for any recompense. It seems like my aunt doesn't understand her worth.

And then there is my sister's sister in law who thinks everyone owes her. My sister, neice and brother in law were sick for two weeks with covid last year. The sister in law lives in a house behind theirs but did not help them, or even offer to babysit my niece's 7 year old. And my sister said they didn't dare ask her because she always expects way too much compensation. If we lived in the same town I would have been there every day making sure they had what they needed because that is what family does.

 

[JahaRa]

There are too many times when I was young and had car trouble and someone stopped to help me get back on the road, so I do the same for others. If they ask if they can pay me I just say, 'no, just help someone else when you are given the opportunity'

 

[garnetsilver]

There are too many times when I was young and had car trouble and someone stopped to help me get back on the road, so I do the same for others. If they ask if they can pay me I just say, 'no, just help someone else when you are given the opportunity'

Exactly!