Trying to understand myself

Discussion in 'Your Paranormal Experiences' started by Azrael, Jul 1, 2019.

  1. Azrael

    Azrael
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    I don't know where to start, or why I am here maybe I'll find solace in the responses I get here.

    I had a pretty normal childhood up until around 12 when I first got a bike which is when my father took me to learn how to ride, he took me atop a relatively large and steep hill (probably out of stupidity rather than malice) which also had a large and deep river covered in thorns and nettles in it, needless to say if something went wrong I could have died in worst cases however that is not what happened as he let go of my bike at the top of the hill me a boy who has never touched a bike before in my life going about 45 km / h down the hill pulled of a stunt akin to a professional right before I fell into the river at the bottom of the hill as my father said he seemed like it had came from no where (this will seem more relevant towards the end of this) I thought nothing of it.

    However since that day I have had extremely euphoric visions (if that is the right term) of the future, now I think nothing of them at the time of seeing them (I don't even recognise myself most of the time because I had one of these when I was 12 over 7 years ago and I recently lived the moment that I saw)
    Any way the moment It comes to the moment I have a huge amount of euphoria hit me and then I relive the moment and everything falls into place from my actions to my surroundings, I have no control over what I see at all I just have these occur to me sometimes days apart sometimes years apart.

    I have noticed several black crows / ravens that follow me and any time I'm in a field or any open land a flock of them appear on tops of houses or in the sky cawing and they only fly away if I get within touching distance (where as most birds fly away as soon as you get any where near close to them)

    The only reason I'm making this is because I recently saw my own death but I cannot determine the date or when it is because all I saw was a hooded individual with no face staring over me.
     
  2. Debi

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    Let's talk timelines here. They are changeable. Everything you may see may not be what eventually occurs. Those who are seers know this to be fact. Intention at many levels does change timing and the events themselves. Although you may have seen some that have come to fruition, there are probably many you have not yet seen happen. Some of those you never will because, as I said, timelines change and events seen change. What you see in this moment as true, may ultimately end up shifting.

    Now, we all die....so the fact you see no date or circumstances may simply mean you are see the final event in your life waaay down the road. Time is a very slippery thing in the paranormal world.

    As to the crows/ravens. They get a bad rap. They are known as messengers, and actually are very intelligent birds that can and will bond with people. They may even bring you "presents" once you get to know them well. These may be strings or feathers, etc., but it is a sign of friendship.
     
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  3. PicaPica

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    I'm a pagan so I come at a lot from that angle. In your shoes I'd look into Odin.
     
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  4. TexDanm

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    In my experience clairvoyant visions, what I call suddenly remembering the future, is a view of possibilities. Several times I have seen something and chosen to avoid it. That seems to be fairly easy to do. What I can't change is the entire thing. If I suddenly "see" a tree falling on me I can stop and back up. But the tree still falls. All I changed was its effect on me. I have not had much success helping others avoid the trials and tribulations in their lives. I don't seem to be able to call up this ability on demand or for trivial things but can seem to peek a little into the future with tarot cards and scrying. Death is not a dark Mistress, she is a loving friend. The dark figure that you see is your fears.

    If I understand, you are still very young. A lot of this will be better with a little more maturity and if you can find an older person to help guide you through these turbulent years and to help you learn how to use and accept your rather troublesome gift.
     
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  5. WitchAndShaman

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    I would suggest that you not fixate (to the point of fear) on your possible premonition of death. As you stated, your premonitions - if that is what this is - can occur years prior to the actual real life event. I didn’t notice that you shared your current age, with us; but, one thing to recognize is that in a young life, a couple of years between two events might not seem to be that far apart but you could have many, many more years ahead of you still. What I mean is, even if your premonition is about your own death, the “years between” the premonition and your actual death could yet be many, many, many years - not just a couple.

    I started having premonitions around age 16. With the exception of one - maybe two - my psychic premonitions always come true with 48 or fewer hours....they are really predictable.

    I also wanted to praise you for posting the word “euphoric”. I typically have a distinct feeling that occurs concurrent with “the later real life occurrence” *. I’ve never been able to give that feeling a name but you have given it a pretty appropriate one Azrael.

    * That is the term I use to refer to the actual final occurrence of events from my premonitions. I use that term to distinguish between the earlier premonition (which in my perception is the first occurrence of the event) and the later, second but real life occurrence of the same event.
     
    #5 WitchAndShaman, Jul 2, 2019
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2019
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  6. Lynne

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    Welcome to the forum. You have gotten some good advice. I agree the future is not set and free will plays a part. There must be a reason you are getting these premonitions. Perhaps it’s so you can make changes.
     
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  7. Azrael

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    I should note I didn't go in anywhere near as much detail as I wanted to but I have no control of the outcome of what I see one example of this would be quite recently when I saw something reach inside of me and break one of my internal organs (I'm not sure if Phantasm is the word) but less than 2 weeks after that event I was rushed into hospital for a sudden organ failure (being two of my kidney's) yet apparently I have an extremely rare genetic condition and was born with 4 Kidney's, it feels like something is battling for me and I have extreme behavioural differences sometimes where I seem like a different person, the most common example being how sometimes I can't stand the sight of mistreatment of others and can so angry that I can get myself in trouble for acting out towards those who would do that and sometimes I turn into someone horrible that I can't stand the sight of who actively looks for trouble yet Bioplar and split personality have been completely ruled out in studies for me It's genuinely ruining my life.
     
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  8. Charleh

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    Hey Azrael, maybe I should pipe up here. There two possibilities for what you saw. A spirit hurting you physically in a vision, or the being was pointing out an already existing problem, as you said you were later diagnosed with a genetic condition if I read that right. For things like this you need a good sense of discernment to figure out if this thing is friend or foe.

    And it sounds like you're a very empathetic person. Anybody with silver of a heart Is not going to stand idly by as an innocent person gets hurt. It's unfortunate that most people do just stand by and let things happen.

    Now you're talking feeling like you're a different person. Is this on and off, or are you simply changing into another person? Also since this is sort of relevant, can I ask how old you are?
     
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  9. Debi

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    Charleh is asking some good questions there, but I have a few more to add.

    First, duplex kidneys is unusual, but it's not unusual for problems or failure in one or two along the way if you have this condition. It's possible your higher self was warning you of the impending problem. Since you have some indicators of possible genetic or early formation (first trimester) problems, my first suggestion is you get a full medical exam to rule out anything else going on. This is essential for you, and although you indicate you have been screened for some of the mental illnesses, chemical brain imbalances and other physical causes can affect our behavior and perceptions at times.

    Reading your story over again, I feel you feel there may be a presence/entity at root cause here. Am I reading you correctly?
     
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  10. Azrael

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    I don't know what to believe or think at this point in time if I am being honest in regards to Charleh first.

    It's almost like I am a different person entirely and I am 18 turning 19 soon, I should note that if family history is to be accounted I am a descendant of an irish bloodline related to Cú Chulainn or at least the mythology of it, I feel like I'm protected but at the same time cursed like there is an internal fight within me going on at all times.
     

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