So, I feel really weird and out of the ordinary at this point. I have had strange occurrences since I was a child and I have always been shy to ask about them. Recently, I visited a psychologist to see if I had any diagnosable mental disorders. Everything came back normal, and I am unable to find answers to the questions I have. So now, I turn to people who -may- believe me and not judge me for my questions. What the heck is wrong with me? Here's a list of some of the things I have questions about:
I have seen things since I was a child. A notable experience is at the playground in my neighborhood right next to my house when I was 5 where a woman pushes me on the swings. She is wearing a 2 piece dress suit, like someone would wear to church. She knew me by name and would have long talks with me about my family while pushing me on the swings. My mother would always come find me at the swings and seem frantic, telling me I should not be outside alone. I told her I was not alone, but she never seemed to listen. When I got older, it was brought up in conversation at dinner. When I explained myself clearly, my father turned pale. He described the woman's appearance, in the form of a question. When I said more, he abruptly got up and came back with a photograph of the woman asking "Is this who you saw"? I said yes, and everyone went quiet. It was my grandmother who died the year I was born, wearing the dress clothes she was buried in. The same woman from the playground.
Other childhood things include seeing shadow/smoke-like figures, and toys going by themselves in sounds and appearance.
My little brother and I tried to catch the Easter bunny in the night and heard shuffling footsteps in my room while hiding under the bed. Nothing was there, yet we both heard it.
Still playing with pets who had died. I did not understand why no one else could see them while I could.
Holding my great grandmother's hand at -her- funeral while she dotted on me, telling me I was her "favorite girl". I was 8.
The worst part of it came when I came into my teen years. I started getting strange thoughts out of nowhere and then they started happening.
Examples include:
waking up in the night with a weird feeling and randomly looking out the window to see my neighbors 1800's farmhouse burst into flames.
Seeing streetlights and house lights going out when I pass under them.
Buying jerky from a store, then thinking of the store in flame while I walk out. A week later, the store burns down.
Having out of the blue thoughts of people and relatives I have not seen in years, then days later, they die.
Seeing a strange shadow figure over my friend's head while his dog barked at the ceiling. A day later, he died.
Learning how to surface-grind at work, then wondering what happens when the power goes out. Moments later, it does.
Feeling anxious and energetic during thunderstorms.
Waking up to my uncle sitting on my bed, saying goodbye and sharing memories. Later that same morning, I learned he passed away in the night.
Having random thoughts of stoplights going out, then later that day I come across one.
Having feelings of overwhelming in cemeteries.
Crying in areas of historical importance without fully understanding the occurrence in the area.
Going under anesthesia for surgery, and having vivid dreams in specific detail verified by family members.
The final straw was when my best friend was dying. We set up a "code word" for the Ouija board for when he passed and when he died...I used it. The code word came through, though misspelled. My husband was visibly shaken after the session. He said I was in a trance for hours when I swear I had only been sitting down for mere minutes. I woke after 12 hours of sleep the next day feeling absolutely drained.
I understand there are many things we do not know about science, the human brain, and this world. But I have some serious questions here. I am open to anyone who would like to share, or weigh in on the things I have shared. This is the first time I have opened up in a place like this and I would really like some answers or suggestions on where I can find answers. Thank you in advance!
I have seen things since I was a child. A notable experience is at the playground in my neighborhood right next to my house when I was 5 where a woman pushes me on the swings. She is wearing a 2 piece dress suit, like someone would wear to church. She knew me by name and would have long talks with me about my family while pushing me on the swings. My mother would always come find me at the swings and seem frantic, telling me I should not be outside alone. I told her I was not alone, but she never seemed to listen. When I got older, it was brought up in conversation at dinner. When I explained myself clearly, my father turned pale. He described the woman's appearance, in the form of a question. When I said more, he abruptly got up and came back with a photograph of the woman asking "Is this who you saw"? I said yes, and everyone went quiet. It was my grandmother who died the year I was born, wearing the dress clothes she was buried in. The same woman from the playground.
Other childhood things include seeing shadow/smoke-like figures, and toys going by themselves in sounds and appearance.
My little brother and I tried to catch the Easter bunny in the night and heard shuffling footsteps in my room while hiding under the bed. Nothing was there, yet we both heard it.
Still playing with pets who had died. I did not understand why no one else could see them while I could.
Holding my great grandmother's hand at -her- funeral while she dotted on me, telling me I was her "favorite girl". I was 8.
The worst part of it came when I came into my teen years. I started getting strange thoughts out of nowhere and then they started happening.
Examples include:
waking up in the night with a weird feeling and randomly looking out the window to see my neighbors 1800's farmhouse burst into flames.
Seeing streetlights and house lights going out when I pass under them.
Buying jerky from a store, then thinking of the store in flame while I walk out. A week later, the store burns down.
Having out of the blue thoughts of people and relatives I have not seen in years, then days later, they die.
Seeing a strange shadow figure over my friend's head while his dog barked at the ceiling. A day later, he died.
Learning how to surface-grind at work, then wondering what happens when the power goes out. Moments later, it does.
Feeling anxious and energetic during thunderstorms.
Waking up to my uncle sitting on my bed, saying goodbye and sharing memories. Later that same morning, I learned he passed away in the night.
Having random thoughts of stoplights going out, then later that day I come across one.
Having feelings of overwhelming in cemeteries.
Crying in areas of historical importance without fully understanding the occurrence in the area.
Going under anesthesia for surgery, and having vivid dreams in specific detail verified by family members.
The final straw was when my best friend was dying. We set up a "code word" for the Ouija board for when he passed and when he died...I used it. The code word came through, though misspelled. My husband was visibly shaken after the session. He said I was in a trance for hours when I swear I had only been sitting down for mere minutes. I woke after 12 hours of sleep the next day feeling absolutely drained.
I understand there are many things we do not know about science, the human brain, and this world. But I have some serious questions here. I am open to anyone who would like to share, or weigh in on the things I have shared. This is the first time I have opened up in a place like this and I would really like some answers or suggestions on where I can find answers. Thank you in advance!