When does not grieving become too much?

ozentity

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as i have not been able to shed a tear at all
Selectric, I'm not being nosey but are you of Nordic descent? I have a fair bit myself and while I am sensitive I take a more matter of fact view of life and death where I have Italian friends that show much more emotion.
 
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Selectric

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Selectric, I'm not being nosey but are you of Nordic descent? I have a fair bit myself and while I am sensitive I take a more matter of fact view of life and death where I have Italian friends that show much more emotion.
Not that i am aware of. I am a mutt lol. Mix of German, Polish and Irish.
 
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Paulm

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as others have said, everyone grieves differently, in their own way. some are more emotional, some not so much. can also depend on the relationship, closeness, etc.... theres no rulebook on how you should feel or act, whether you must shed tears or not. some ppl dwell on the death more than the life, i dont want to be remembered for when or how i died, but more for how i lived......if everyone gathers and cries it will be boring, i hope someone stands and says, "hey remember when he......." and everyone laughs...........
 

ozentity

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i hope someone stands and says, "hey remember when he......." and everyone laughs...........
All my family funerals are like that. I remember one time the neighbors came in to show respect after a family member's funeral and they were greeted with laughter, they looked horrified :D . We were not drinking, it's just how we celebrate life and remember the love and happiness they gave.
 

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All my family funerals are like that. I remember one time the neighbors came in to show respect after a family member's funeral and they were greeted with laughter, they looked horrified :D . We were not drinking, it's just how we celebrate life and remember the love and happiness they gave.
One of my favorite patients died years ago and the family decided to have a celebration of life instead of a regular funeral. Another staff member and I went to the funeral home and took her "favorite" bingo card to give to the family. There were balloons, pictures of her doing her favorite things, and it was very much an uplifting kind of thing. She had often said she wished to be buried with her "favorite" bingo card, and that wish was fulfilled.
 

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The fact you are thinking about those you've lost sounds like you are grieving, but in your own way. Everyone grieves differently, there is no right or wrong way. Feeling guilty about how you deal with grief is not only counterproductive, but a waste of your time and energy.

If you think you might benefit from counseling, a good place to start would be a local hospice. Ask if you can talk to a grief counselor.
Duke you said exactly what I was thinking , so I will just say “ditto”, I agree.
 
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Lynne

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Never talked much about it with others, so if how i am dealing or going-about-it is normal, then i can deal. Just wasn't sure. I will always remember everyone i lost. Each brought something to my life that deserves that. Maybe, i was conflicted if i should do more.
Another thing this brought to mind is that everyone associates emotional pain with grieving but perhaps that is not always the case. You may realize that there is life after this and that they are ok. You can miss them but not necessarily feel pain. I say it’s a blessing. The pain is no fun and really serves no purpose. You may just be a practical guy.
 

Lynne

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as others have said, everyone grieves differently, in their own way. some are more emotional, some not so much. can also depend on the relationship, closeness, etc.... theres no rulebook on how you should feel or act, whether you must shed tears or not. some ppl dwell on the death more than the life, i dont want to be remembered for when or how i died, but more for how i lived......if everyone gathers and cries it will be boring, i hope someone stands and says, "hey remember when he......." and everyone laughs...........
As always Paul you are right in the money with your sage advice.