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WHAT'S YOUR FUNNIEST STORY INVOLVING A CAR?

Buying, driving, or loaning yours to the kids can bring some interesting stories!

My teen son borrowed my T-Bird for a date. It was his first night driving after getting his license. The car looked fine when he brought it home.
10 years later he confessed he had managed to swipe off the mirror on a post but that crazy glue saved the day!

What ya got?
 
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I did a small landscaping job for a lady, about $600 worth. She said as payment did I want her old van, it was pretty old and neglected but had rego so I agreed, thinking this would do me for 6 months or so before wrecking it. I had the van for 9 years, it never missed a beat and travelled over 200 000km in it. Best two days work I ever did, lol.
 
First one comes to mind was one of my work vans that at the time an apprentice drove. He was a close friend of mine, so i knew him well. We stopped at store for coffee etc in morning and while i was in line, he came up and said the van was across the street...of course...i didn't think he meant LITERALLY as he never put in park...but reverse lol...and ended up across the street and smashed over someone's mailbox rofl.
 
Back when I was about 19 I was out with a buddy in Southern California and had to stop for gas. As I started working the pump my friend went into the convenience store. As I was standing there a guy not much older than me, maybe in his mid 20s, approaches and judging by his appearance I guessed he was homeless or had at least been sleeping on hard concrete.

He asked if I had a dollar and I told him "Sorry, no". He was understanding though and said "That's alright. Do you know what I was going to use the dollar for?" And based solely on the smell I said "I'm guessing you were going to get something to drink" and he got super excited, started laughing and said "Yeah man! You guessed it! Alright!" He then gave me a two minute lecture on the differences between the various brands of cheap malt liquor.

At this point I figured that since I had no dollar for him that he would move on. But for the sake of this anecdote I'm glad he stayed because the next thing he said was "Do you believe in God?"

My mind went into survival mode and and I shifted position so the gas pump hose was in between him and me just in case his next question was something like 'Are you ready to meet him'. I told him "Yeah I believe in God, in fact I'm praying a little bit right now." Instead he continues "Did you know that Jesus was God's son?" I just nodded "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I read that in a book somewhere"

He looked around and told me "Lots of people think Jesus is going to come back some day, but I don't believe that. He can't come back because he's already here!" I asked if he meant Jesus was "here" as in on Earth or at this gas station. He paused, got a quizzical look and said "I mean here on Earth but he could be at this gas station. In fact, I'm pretty sure he is here. Right now!" I got a bit concerned and asked if he thought that he was Jesus. He laughed and said no, but thought that I might be Jesus. I told him I wasn't Jesus and he asked "Are you sure?" I replied that "I'm pretty sure I'd know if I were Jesus" he then asked if I would lie to him. My mistake was trying to use logic here and asked "Do you really think Jesus would lie?" His eyebrows went up and started to ask a question. I interrupted and told him. "Look, if I were Jesus I wouldn't lie about it, I would let you know." He actually looked disappointed but accepted my logic.

At this point I was done pumping gas and my friend was coming back, so I told him that my friend and I had to leave now. My buddy walks up to the guy and unprompted gives him a dollar. And because this friend has a weird sense of humor makes a joke by telling him "Hey, I found this dollar inside and Jesus wants me to give it to you."

This poor guys face went white, his jaw dropped, eyes went wide and he was looking between me and the dollar thinking that this was the sign proving I really was Jesus. I knew there was no talking my way out of this so I put my hand on his shoulder and told him to calm down, that everything would be okay. I then said "I really do need to go" and he stammered a bit saying "Yeah, I know. You have a lot of really important things to do." I then asked "Can you do me a favor? Can you try to do better, take care of yourself and live better?" The poor guy got a look of shame, then determination and looked me right in the eyes and said "Yes. I can do better. I will do better." I then patted him on the back, told him God the Father loves him.

I then got in the truck and as I drove away I smacked my friend and said that because of him some homeless dude now thinks I'm Jesus!

And now I'm worried that when I die and am standing at the pearly gates St Peter is going to say "Well you helped the sick and needy, good. We're a loving Father and husband, good good. Everything here all look good... Wait a minute! Impersonated Jesus!!??!"
 
Back when I was about 19 I was out with a buddy in Southern California and had to stop for gas. As I started working the pump my friend went into the convenience store. As I was standing there a guy not much older than me, maybe in his mid 20s, approaches and judging by his appearance I guessed he was homeless or had at least been sleeping on hard concrete.

He asked if I had a dollar and I told him "Sorry, no". He was understanding though and said "That's alright. Do you know what I was going to use the dollar for?" And based solely on the smell I said "I'm guessing you were going to get something to drink" and he got super excited, started laughing and said "Yeah man! You guessed it! Alright!" He then gave me a two minute lecture on the differences between the various brands of cheap malt liquor.

At this point I figured that since I had no dollar for him that he would move on. But for the sake of this anecdote I'm glad he stayed because the next thing he said was "Do you believe in God?"

My mind went into survival mode and and I shifted position so the gas pump hose was in between him and me just in case his next question was something like 'Are you ready to meet him'. I told him "Yeah I believe in God, in fact I'm praying a little bit right now." Instead he continues "Did you know that Jesus was God's son?" I just nodded "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I read that in a book somewhere"

He looked around and told me "Lots of people think Jesus is going to come back some day, but I don't believe that. He can't come back because he's already here!" I asked if he meant Jesus was "here" as in on Earth or at this gas station. He paused, got a quizzical look and said "I mean here on Earth but he could be at this gas station. In fact, I'm pretty sure he is here. Right now!" I got a bit concerned and asked if he thought that he was Jesus. He laughed and said no, but thought that I might be Jesus. I told him I wasn't Jesus and he asked "Are you sure?" I replied that "I'm pretty sure I'd know if I were Jesus" he then asked if I would lie to him. My mistake was trying to use logic here and asked "Do you really think Jesus would lie?" His eyebrows went up and started to ask a question. I interrupted and told him. "Look, if I were Jesus I wouldn't lie about it, I would let you know." He actually looked disappointed but accepted my logic.

At this point I was done pumping gas and my friend was coming back, so I told him that my friend and I had to leave now. My buddy walks up to the guy and unprompted gives him a dollar. And because this friend has a weird sense of humor makes a joke by telling him "Hey, I found this dollar inside and Jesus wants me to give it to you."

This poor guys face went white, his jaw dropped, eyes went wide and he was looking between me and the dollar thinking that this was the sign proving I really was Jesus. I knew there was no talking my way out of this so I put my hand on his shoulder and told him to calm down, that everything would be okay. I then said "I really do need to go" and he stammered a bit saying "Yeah, I know. You have a lot of really important things to do." I then asked "Can you do me a favor? Can you try to do better, take care of yourself and live better?" The poor guy got a look of shame, then determination and looked me right in the eyes and said "Yes. I can do better. I will do better." I then patted him on the back, told him God the Father loves him.

I then got in the truck and as I drove away I smacked my friend and said that because of him some homeless dude now thinks I'm Jesus!

And now I'm worried that when I die and am standing at the pearly gates St Peter is going to say "Well you helped the sick and needy, good. We're a loving Father and husband, good good. Everything here all look good... Wait a minute! Impersonated Jesus!!??!"
How fast can you "logic" your way outta THAT one? lol That is a great story!
 
Back when I was about 19 I was out with a buddy in Southern California and had to stop for gas. As I started working the pump my friend went into the convenience store. As I was standing there a guy not much older than me, maybe in his mid 20s, approaches and judging by his appearance I guessed he was homeless or had at least been sleeping on hard concrete.

He asked if I had a dollar and I told him "Sorry, no". He was understanding though and said "That's alright. Do you know what I was going to use the dollar for?" And based solely on the smell I said "I'm guessing you were going to get something to drink" and he got super excited, started laughing and said "Yeah man! You guessed it! Alright!" He then gave me a two minute lecture on the differences between the various brands of cheap malt liquor.

At this point I figured that since I had no dollar for him that he would move on. But for the sake of this anecdote I'm glad he stayed because the next thing he said was "Do you believe in God?"

My mind went into survival mode and and I shifted position so the gas pump hose was in between him and me just in case his next question was something like 'Are you ready to meet him'. I told him "Yeah I believe in God, in fact I'm praying a little bit right now." Instead he continues "Did you know that Jesus was God's son?" I just nodded "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I read that in a book somewhere"

He looked around and told me "Lots of people think Jesus is going to come back some day, but I don't believe that. He can't come back because he's already here!" I asked if he meant Jesus was "here" as in on Earth or at this gas station. He paused, got a quizzical look and said "I mean here on Earth but he could be at this gas station. In fact, I'm pretty sure he is here. Right now!" I got a bit concerned and asked if he thought that he was Jesus. He laughed and said no, but thought that I might be Jesus. I told him I wasn't Jesus and he asked "Are you sure?" I replied that "I'm pretty sure I'd know if I were Jesus" he then asked if I would lie to him. My mistake was trying to use logic here and asked "Do you really think Jesus would lie?" His eyebrows went up and started to ask a question. I interrupted and told him. "Look, if I were Jesus I wouldn't lie about it, I would let you know." He actually looked disappointed but accepted my logic.

At this point I was done pumping gas and my friend was coming back, so I told him that my friend and I had to leave now. My buddy walks up to the guy and unprompted gives him a dollar. And because this friend has a weird sense of humor makes a joke by telling him "Hey, I found this dollar inside and Jesus wants me to give it to you."

This poor guys face went white, his jaw dropped, eyes went wide and he was looking between me and the dollar thinking that this was the sign proving I really was Jesus. I knew there was no talking my way out of this so I put my hand on his shoulder and told him to calm down, that everything would be okay. I then said "I really do need to go" and he stammered a bit saying "Yeah, I know. You have a lot of really important things to do." I then asked "Can you do me a favor? Can you try to do better, take care of yourself and live better?" The poor guy got a look of shame, then determination and looked me right in the eyes and said "Yes. I can do better. I will do better." I then patted him on the back, told him God the Father loves him.

I then got in the truck and as I drove away I smacked my friend and said that because of him some homeless dude now thinks I'm Jesus!

And now I'm worried that when I die and am standing at the pearly gates St Peter is going to say "Well you helped the sick and needy, good. We're a loving Father and husband, good good. Everything here all look good... Wait a minute! Impersonated Jesus!!??!"
Best story ever!!!
 
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WHAT'S YOUR FUNNIEST STORY INVOLVING A CAR?

Buying, driving, or loaning yours to the kids can bring some interesting stories!

My teen son borrowed my T-Bird for a date. It was his first night driving after getting his license. The car looked fine when he brought it home.
10 years later he confessed he had managed to swipe off the mirror on a post but that crazy glue saved the day!

What ya got?
I have a funny story about a squad car, my biological processes and some dumb luck, but i'm not sure it's appropriate for this page.;bg3