Hey, just wanted to share my story see if I can get any opinions to my past 2 or 3 years of my life, damn has it been that long..
I know thought broadcasting is a common symptom for schizophrenia as a delusion and trust me I wish it was a delusion. I'll mention a couple of things about myself, I have a non stop wandering mind, I assume is from my extreme introversion and I've been diagnosed with anti-social personality disorder, I lack empathy but have a dribble of it using logic and good willingness but other than that pretty healthy mentally other than this "delusion"..
So one day I noticed I had this ability to put pressure in my head at will, like a muscle, so like any young, stupid and curious kid I was bored and did it as hard as I could for 10 minutes, thought nothing of it. A day or two later I realized what I've done.. I began hearing subtle shushes everywhere I went and loud noises would bring the pressure back for a moment unwillingly. I noticed talking too much in my mind would also bring the pressure back and the shushes turned into subtle gasps and more shushing, I didn't know what to think but I knew I was unsettled to say the least.
I started paying more attention and noticed the pressure got more violent with every sound I heard, soon I was fighting to let go of the pressure to the sound of a clock ticking, I couldn't stop.. that night my neighbor joined in on the shushing as I was falling asleep and talking to myself like every other second of the day, I had to assume the worst.. it was loud...
I'm not a bad person, I didn't want to make peoples lives worse by having some stranger fiddle with their brains, then breakfast came, I remember looking down at my plate then to the wall..
Spark anyone's interest?
I know thought broadcasting is a common symptom for schizophrenia as a delusion and trust me I wish it was a delusion. I'll mention a couple of things about myself, I have a non stop wandering mind, I assume is from my extreme introversion and I've been diagnosed with anti-social personality disorder, I lack empathy but have a dribble of it using logic and good willingness but other than that pretty healthy mentally other than this "delusion"..
So one day I noticed I had this ability to put pressure in my head at will, like a muscle, so like any young, stupid and curious kid I was bored and did it as hard as I could for 10 minutes, thought nothing of it. A day or two later I realized what I've done.. I began hearing subtle shushes everywhere I went and loud noises would bring the pressure back for a moment unwillingly. I noticed talking too much in my mind would also bring the pressure back and the shushes turned into subtle gasps and more shushing, I didn't know what to think but I knew I was unsettled to say the least.
I started paying more attention and noticed the pressure got more violent with every sound I heard, soon I was fighting to let go of the pressure to the sound of a clock ticking, I couldn't stop.. that night my neighbor joined in on the shushing as I was falling asleep and talking to myself like every other second of the day, I had to assume the worst.. it was loud...
I'm not a bad person, I didn't want to make peoples lives worse by having some stranger fiddle with their brains, then breakfast came, I remember looking down at my plate then to the wall..
Spark anyone's interest?