Pain, Wrong Path, Illness and Healing

[Galexy]

Hello. It's been a while.

For some time I went down the wrong path. I started doing things I wouldn't usually do. I said and did cruel things. I hurt people's feelings.

I started getting kff off track after my twin flame left. Soon after, my cat died. I was very close to her. Her name is Blinx. She was everything to me. She was my angel, my constant comfort. She healed me, just being around her. She was so sweet and she loved me so extremely. I'd never had such a bond before. She and I could look into each other's eyes and just KNOW. We could see each other, understand each other. We healed each other. She slept with me every night. She would come up to me and I'd open my arm and she knew that was her spot to lay. She'd lay with her head against my shoulder or arm and she'd purr and knead me until both of us fell asleep. I was there for her birth and I grew up with her. She was always there; through depression, anxiety, everything. She would always lick my lips, kiss me, she demanded it at times and even woke me up doing it. Other times she'd lick my hair, give me a bath. It was so soothing and I usually fell asleep to it.

She and I loved each other extremely.

I had to watch as her healrh deteriorated; I spent thousands trying to save her. She would meow in pain and so I would wrap her up in a blanket and bring her to the window. She would fall asleep this way. After I did this one time, she refused to go anywhere else but at that window. I'd tried bringing her to my room but she would crawl back to that window. She put so much effort into going there when she couldn't even walk. So I knew she really wanted to be there.

So I would hold her there, I did for days, and even slept on the floor with her. And one say she just looked really awful and shw was meowing in pain and I just knew it was time to have her put down. She was suffering. She was in pain. Life wasn't good for her.

I cuddled her and she even purred with me despite her state. Then they took her and had her put down. I couldn't go. I broke down, she was the most important thing to me, she was my angel, my sweetheart, the love of my life.

And after this, I just lost all sense of right and wrong. I didn't care. I just wanted to forget. I was in so much pain, I delved into fiction to the point of obsession. And to forget, I almost took on another personality. I became a mean and cruel person. I played with people's feelings and laughed at their pain. I became horrible.

It was around this time that I developed an illness.

I can't eat. I can hardly drink. I have trouble using the bathroom. My heart beat pounds so hard through out my chest and stomach. I feel like passing out every day. I can't lie down or sit down without feeling like I'm going to pass out, or worse. My heart and digestive system is not working properly. It's been going on for about 2 months now and I'm afraid.

I feel that this was a sort of slap in the face. To make me stop being that new, cruel person I created. To make it clear that I was on the wrong path. This illness is bringing me back to my path.

I think the fear of death was the only way to pull me out of what I was doing and put me back on track.

I am here to help. I am here to comfort. I am here to save. I am here to help awaken others and to help them realize their abilities. I am a light being and it is my duty to be full of love and kindness.

I am not here to hurt. I am not here to be malicious.

And so I never will be again.

I am back on the correct path and I feel myself becoming stronger, spiritually. I am a healer. I will do the best I can to comfort, awaken, and share the love.

Please contact me and I will help ease whatever pain you have whether that is physical or emotional.

My illness is currently going and I am in the process of healing.

 

[Charleh]

Good to hear from you again Galexy. I’m sorry for your loss. Sometimes your pet becomes a better friend than your human peers. I know You didn’t take that for granted.
We’ll keep you in our prayers as you recover.

 

[Galexy]

Good to hear from you again Galexy. I’m sorry for your loss. Sometimes your pet becomes a better friend than your human peers. I know You didn’t take that for granted.
We’ll keep you in our prayers as you recover.

Yes I've always been shy and awkward and had a hard time making friends. So I attached to her in the way one would usually attach to a fellow human. So her passing was extremely difficult and to be honest it still is. I feel quite alone.
Especially at night, when I'm in bed. I would love to just wrap my arms around her and fall asleep with her right now.

Death is natural and a part of life. But we will always miss those we no longer see.

Thank you.

 

[Mrs Cooper]

From your profile I see you are only 26 years old. That’s a lot of health issues for someone that young.

 

[Paintman]

GALAXY, I had a little cat named Shadow and she was 18 and a half years old before she passed. My heart goes out to you and I understand. She followed me everywhere. She was a real stowaway, she would be under the seat of my truck- half way to the job, I discovered her-, follow me on a walk, .... one time when I was mowing the lawn and went inside to get a drink of water and she was sitting on my tractor.

 

[7Critter]

T

Hello. It's been a while.

For some time I went down the wrong path. I started doing things I wouldn't usually do. I said and did cruel things. I hurt people's feelings.

I started getting kff off track after my twin flame left. Soon after, my cat died. I was very close to her. Her name is Blinx. She was everything to me. She was my angel, my constant comfort. She healed me, just being around her. She was so sweet and she loved me so extremely. I'd never had such a bond before. She and I could look into each other's eyes and just KNOW. We could see each other, understand each other. We healed each other. She slept with me every night. She would come up to me and I'd open my arm and she knew that was her spot to lay. She'd lay with her head against my shoulder or arm and she'd purr and knead me until both of us fell asleep. I was there for her birth and I grew up with her. She was always there; through depression, anxiety, everything. She would always lick my lips, kiss me, she demanded it at times and even woke me up doing it. Other times she'd lick my hair, give me a bath. It was so soothing and I usually fell asleep to it.

She and I loved each other extremely.

I had to watch as her healrh deteriorated; I spent thousands trying to save her. She would meow in pain and so I would wrap her up in a blanket and bring her to the window. She would fall asleep this way. After I did this one time, she refused to go anywhere else but at that window. I'd tried bringing her to my room but she would crawl back to that window. She put so much effort into going there when she couldn't even walk. So I knew she really wanted to be there.

So I would hold her there, I did for days, and even slept on the floor with her. And one say she just looked really awful and shw was meowing in pain and I just knew it was time to have her put down. She was suffering. She was in pain. Life wasn't good for her.

I cuddled her and she even purred with me despite her state. Then they took her and had her put down. I couldn't go. I broke down, she was the most important thing to me, she was my angel, my sweetheart, the love of my life.

And after this, I just lost all sense of right and wrong. I didn't care. I just wanted to forget. I was in so much pain, I delved into fiction to the point of obsession. And to forget, I almost took on another personality. I became a mean and cruel person. I played with people's feelings and laughed at their pain. I became horrible.

It was around this time that I developed an illness.

I can't eat. I can hardly drink. I have trouble using the bathroom. My heart beat pounds so hard through out my chest and stomach. I feel like passing out every day. I can't lie down or sit down without feeling like I'm going to pass out, or worse. My heart and digestive system is not working properly. It's been going on for about 2 months now and I'm afraid.

I feel that this was a sort of slap in the face. To make me stop being that new, cruel person I created. To make it clear that I was on the wrong path. This illness is bringing me back to my path.

I think the fear of death was the only way to pull me out of what I was doing and put me back on track.

I am here to help. I am here to comfort. I am here to save. I am here to help awaken others and to help them realize their abilities. I am a light being and it is my duty to be full of love and kindness.

I am not here to hurt. I am not here to be malicious.

And so I never will be again.

I am back on the correct path and I feel myself becoming stronger, spiritually. I am a healer. I will do the best I can to comfort, awaken, and share the love.

Please contact me and I will help ease whatever pain you have whether that is physical or emotional.

My illness is currently going and I am in the process of healing.

Thanks for sharing. Sorry for your lost. I'm glad that things are turning around.

 

[Knockoff]

Sometimes I finish an artwork and I ask myself " why did I do that ?" And oddly enough, I look forward to doing non-creative practical tasks and work. I put a caption in my watercolor using this really cheap drawing/painting software that works great surprisingly. Its an early version of AutoDesk if you've heard of that.

 

[Debi]

Please contact me and I will help ease whatever pain you have whether that is physical or emotional.

I am glad to hear you are healing yourself, but you cannot make this kind of "offer" or promise to others and especially not here at the forum. I would suggest you fully heal yourself, get some training and experience, and then move forward on your path.

 

[Lynne]

Galexy I am so sorry to hear about your pet and your sickness. I will keep you in prayer. Rescuing a new pet when your ready may help fill your loneliness.