My strange experience.

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Snoop

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So I am sorry there is going to be some personal stuff in this. Nothing too personal though.

I don't really know what to make of this it happened quite a few years ago.

I will start by explaining what made me think of this in the first place. I have been dealing with some rather emotional issues lately and started working to sort them out. So, it turns out some of these issues are connected.

So, the thing that happened, I was working as a concealer at a boy's youth camp. I was living in a tent for about ten weeks in central Texas. I always loved the outdoors and I had come to this camp as a boy myself. So, it was great fun working there. (Except, here is where it gets personal, and I am sorry it is just an important part of the story.) This was a tumultuous time in my life, I was about 4 years separated from my first relationship and it did a number on me. I grew up in Texas and was in a catholic family I was trying to come to terms with the fact that I was gay. The stress of this caused me a lot of anxiety and depression but working at the camp with the kiddos made me feel better. The stress and anxiety reached its peak when I would lay down in bed at night. I would say prayers as a habit trying to ward off the things I was feeling. eventually I would slip off to sleep for a few hours.

The staff campsite was quiet within minutes because the work of entertaining a bunch of boys all day just took so much energy. it was very common I was the last one to sleep.

So, my first experience happened one night after this point when everybody was asleep. I was saying my prayers and started to drift off to sleep. That period where you are just about to lose consciousness, I saw something, an obscured silhouette, of a small or crouched person like they squatted to look me in the face while I was in bed. It startled me I jerked upright my eyes wide open, and nothing was there where I saw the Silhouette. I looked under my bunk and all to see if someone was pranking me or if some critter from the wilderness was snooping around. I saw nothing, no trace of critters no rustling in the distance, but standing there in the dark after my heart stopped racing, I noticed all of the nighttime insects and birds were silent. I was mega-creeped out standing alone in the darkness, I thought about seeing if my friend was awake, but I was worried about how it would look me at night in my underpants sneaking into another guy's tent. So, I did my best to calm down and sat on my bunk until exhaustion took over. next couple of nights were uneventful but I struggled to sleep, and some nights stayed awake all night. Insomnia had been something I had dealt with a lot in that period of my life.

The night all the kids left the camp, it was a 5 day stay for the youth, I lay down to sleep I was at this point not on edge and wrote it off as just some stress induced hallucination. But sure, enough just as i began to drift off to sleep I saw it again. I had talked to my friend that was a staff member with me at the time he was in school to be a minister and he taught me about preparing for spiritual warfare and that you need armor. He didn't know about anything that was bothering me at that time.

I had this vision a few more times before I left the camp, I never saw it or experienced anything like that sense. I chalked it up to being a closeted gay guy that was surrounded by other guys my age and trying to hide myself from others. But going back through these things I am not sure.

is there a paranormal thing going on here am i thinking about it now for any reason? anybody have a clue?
 
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A paranormal experience can happen to anyone, anytime, anyplace. I would suggest you take the sexual preference out of the equation when looking at the event itself. Doesn't matter if you're purple with pink polka dots....the paranormal just doesn't care.

Since you had this happen multiple times, it could have been related to something in the area/land that you were camped on. There are many different reasons for such an experience, and yes, repression and mental health would be something you would need to examine as well. It is difficult to say if it was paranormal or not. You would have to rule out anyone being out there running around as a prank, your own mental status, any historical reports of sightings in the area of the same phenomena. So to answer your question, there is no way to tell for sure unless you have more information to work with.

If this is the only paranormal experience you have had, I would say accept that "something" happened, which could have been mundane, mental or paranormal. I would put it in the past and move on from it as an experience in life.
 
A paranormal experience can happen to anyone, anytime, anyplace. I would suggest you take the sexual preference out of the equation when looking at the event itself. Doesn't matter if you're purple with pink polka dots....the paranormal just doesn't care.

Since you had this happen multiple times, it could have been related to something in the area/land that you were camped on. There are many different reasons for such an experience, and yes, repression and mental health would be something you would need to examine as well. It is difficult to say if it was paranormal or not. You would have to rule out anyone being out there running around as a prank, your own mental status, any historical reports of sightings in the area of the same phenomena. So to answer your question, there is no way to tell for sure unless you have more information to work with.

If this is the only paranormal experience you have had, I would say accept that "something" happened, which could have been mundane, mental or paranormal. I would put it in the past and move on from it as an experience in life.
I am sorry I think the stress that I was under because of that was relevant. I suppose i will have to look into if there were similar encounters. I am wondering if i started thinking about it for a reason. It was like 2007 and I had not given it much thought until I started unpacking all of this stuff.

Or is this more of a let sleeping dogs lie thing
 
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I agree with Debi; it is not so much an issue about your sexuality, but possibly your emotional state at the time. I have been going through some issues which started with intense grieving after the loss of a beloved pet. My niece went through an exceptionally rough time recently, losing her husband and a beloved pet within a month of each other, and started experiencing a lot of frightening paranormal activity.

It's alright to question these things, but more to the point, best to let it go and strengthen your spiritual armor.
Welcome to PNF!
 
I have to agree about mental state being a factor. If you truly had a paranormal experience, these things can pick up on your 'vibes'. We are in essence beacons that can attract these things to us like moths to a flame. When i went through some rough times years back is when i found i had more experiences. Things have balanced out, so far less spooky stuff bugging me lol.
 
Paranormal experiences usually come when least expected. Everyone is different so some are more prone to them than others. Though i found actively seeking them isn't always the best option unless you are an investigator. Sometimes getting what you wish for isn't always a good thing. That's where protection becomes key. Taking them as a learning experience or at times a gift is all we can do.
 
Does anybody know a way to banish the thoughts what works. I remember a friend telling me once that if you talk about it or think about it you can bring it back, or manifest something like it.
 
Paranormal experiences usually come when least expected. Everyone is different so some are more prone to them than others. Though i found actively seeking them isn't always the best option unless you are an investigator. Sometimes getting what you wish for isn't always a good thing. That's where protection becomes key. Taking them as a learning experience or at times a gift is all we can do.
I don't wish for it I don't want to see anything. that unsettling feeling of being watched is bad enough. I am actually wondering how to banish this thought. it cropped up in the process of dealing with mental issues. I thought it was dead and buried for all I knew. It scared the living crap out of me. I definitely don't want to relive that. I was really posting this to see if there was anything I could do to deal with it. to know if there is something to be afraid of, or if there is anything to do to protect myself. I am a complete novice on this.

is it just a triggered memory or is there something more to it. just asking these questions make me uneasy.
 
I don't wish for it I don't want to see anything. that unsettling feeling of being watched is bad enough. I am actually wondering how to banish this thought. it cropped up in the process of dealing with mental issues. I thought it was dead and buried for all I knew. It scared the living crap out of me. I definitely don't want to relive that. I was really posting this to see if there was anything I could do to deal with it. to know if there is something to be afraid of, or if there is anything to do to protect myself. I am a complete novice on this.

is it just a triggered memory or is there something more to it. just asking these questions make me uneasy.
Snoop, those of us who have been dealing with the paranormal for years will pretty much all tell you that the more you look into it, the more you can call to you. Especially if you have mental health issues you are working on. As I said earlier, put it in your past as one experience. There is so much more in life to concentrate on and grow with.

There are certain prayers you can use as protection, but dwelling on it is not the way to go. I will post the link here in a minute to how to deal with these things. I would suggest you speak with a therapist to work through the memory itself and let it go if possible.

 
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