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- Aug 10, 2023
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So I am sorry there is going to be some personal stuff in this. Nothing too personal though.
I don't really know what to make of this it happened quite a few years ago.
I will start by explaining what made me think of this in the first place. I have been dealing with some rather emotional issues lately and started working to sort them out. So, it turns out some of these issues are connected.
So, the thing that happened, I was working as a concealer at a boy's youth camp. I was living in a tent for about ten weeks in central Texas. I always loved the outdoors and I had come to this camp as a boy myself. So, it was great fun working there. (Except, here is where it gets personal, and I am sorry it is just an important part of the story.) This was a tumultuous time in my life, I was about 4 years separated from my first relationship and it did a number on me. I grew up in Texas and was in a catholic family I was trying to come to terms with the fact that I was gay. The stress of this caused me a lot of anxiety and depression but working at the camp with the kiddos made me feel better. The stress and anxiety reached its peak when I would lay down in bed at night. I would say prayers as a habit trying to ward off the things I was feeling. eventually I would slip off to sleep for a few hours.
The staff campsite was quiet within minutes because the work of entertaining a bunch of boys all day just took so much energy. it was very common I was the last one to sleep.
So, my first experience happened one night after this point when everybody was asleep. I was saying my prayers and started to drift off to sleep. That period where you are just about to lose consciousness, I saw something, an obscured silhouette, of a small or crouched person like they squatted to look me in the face while I was in bed. It startled me I jerked upright my eyes wide open, and nothing was there where I saw the Silhouette. I looked under my bunk and all to see if someone was pranking me or if some critter from the wilderness was snooping around. I saw nothing, no trace of critters no rustling in the distance, but standing there in the dark after my heart stopped racing, I noticed all of the nighttime insects and birds were silent. I was mega-creeped out standing alone in the darkness, I thought about seeing if my friend was awake, but I was worried about how it would look me at night in my underpants sneaking into another guy's tent. So, I did my best to calm down and sat on my bunk until exhaustion took over. next couple of nights were uneventful but I struggled to sleep, and some nights stayed awake all night. Insomnia had been something I had dealt with a lot in that period of my life.
The night all the kids left the camp, it was a 5 day stay for the youth, I lay down to sleep I was at this point not on edge and wrote it off as just some stress induced hallucination. But sure, enough just as i began to drift off to sleep I saw it again. I had talked to my friend that was a staff member with me at the time he was in school to be a minister and he taught me about preparing for spiritual warfare and that you need armor. He didn't know about anything that was bothering me at that time.
I had this vision a few more times before I left the camp, I never saw it or experienced anything like that sense. I chalked it up to being a closeted gay guy that was surrounded by other guys my age and trying to hide myself from others. But going back through these things I am not sure.
is there a paranormal thing going on here am i thinking about it now for any reason? anybody have a clue?
I don't really know what to make of this it happened quite a few years ago.
I will start by explaining what made me think of this in the first place. I have been dealing with some rather emotional issues lately and started working to sort them out. So, it turns out some of these issues are connected.
So, the thing that happened, I was working as a concealer at a boy's youth camp. I was living in a tent for about ten weeks in central Texas. I always loved the outdoors and I had come to this camp as a boy myself. So, it was great fun working there. (Except, here is where it gets personal, and I am sorry it is just an important part of the story.) This was a tumultuous time in my life, I was about 4 years separated from my first relationship and it did a number on me. I grew up in Texas and was in a catholic family I was trying to come to terms with the fact that I was gay. The stress of this caused me a lot of anxiety and depression but working at the camp with the kiddos made me feel better. The stress and anxiety reached its peak when I would lay down in bed at night. I would say prayers as a habit trying to ward off the things I was feeling. eventually I would slip off to sleep for a few hours.
The staff campsite was quiet within minutes because the work of entertaining a bunch of boys all day just took so much energy. it was very common I was the last one to sleep.
So, my first experience happened one night after this point when everybody was asleep. I was saying my prayers and started to drift off to sleep. That period where you are just about to lose consciousness, I saw something, an obscured silhouette, of a small or crouched person like they squatted to look me in the face while I was in bed. It startled me I jerked upright my eyes wide open, and nothing was there where I saw the Silhouette. I looked under my bunk and all to see if someone was pranking me or if some critter from the wilderness was snooping around. I saw nothing, no trace of critters no rustling in the distance, but standing there in the dark after my heart stopped racing, I noticed all of the nighttime insects and birds were silent. I was mega-creeped out standing alone in the darkness, I thought about seeing if my friend was awake, but I was worried about how it would look me at night in my underpants sneaking into another guy's tent. So, I did my best to calm down and sat on my bunk until exhaustion took over. next couple of nights were uneventful but I struggled to sleep, and some nights stayed awake all night. Insomnia had been something I had dealt with a lot in that period of my life.
The night all the kids left the camp, it was a 5 day stay for the youth, I lay down to sleep I was at this point not on edge and wrote it off as just some stress induced hallucination. But sure, enough just as i began to drift off to sleep I saw it again. I had talked to my friend that was a staff member with me at the time he was in school to be a minister and he taught me about preparing for spiritual warfare and that you need armor. He didn't know about anything that was bothering me at that time.
I had this vision a few more times before I left the camp, I never saw it or experienced anything like that sense. I chalked it up to being a closeted gay guy that was surrounded by other guys my age and trying to hide myself from others. But going back through these things I am not sure.
is there a paranormal thing going on here am i thinking about it now for any reason? anybody have a clue?