My friend on the stairs...

RoseRed

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This happened to me between 2006 and 2010 and I've never spoken about it. In fact, I rarely think about it but I just remembered the episode again and realised it qualifies as a paranormal experience. So here I am.

Between the dates mentioned, I shared a house with a friend. One day, I was in my bedroom when I heard her coming up the stairs. I heard, very distinctly, not only the sound of her footsteps on the stairs, but also the rustle of the fabric of her jeans as one leg moved against the other with each step up, and the brushing of her bag against the wall. These were the sounds she always made as she came up the stairs.

The staircase was right next to my bedroom so the sounds were very clear and distinct. There was no doubt in my mind when I went out onto the landing to say "Hi" to her, that I would see her and we'd have a chat about our respective days.

You can imagine my shock to find that, when I opened the door, she wasn't there. No one was - the house was empty.

The weird thing about this is that I was so used to the sound of her walking up the stairs that I KNEW it was her. It wasn't a random ghost - it was my friend. My question, then, is how is it possible to be "haunted" by the presence of a still living person??
 

garnetsilver

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I had a similar experience! It is validating to know that you experienced what you did, Rose. What happened was that when I was first dating Mr. Garnet, I was expecting him to come over. I wanted to take a quick shower before he arrived, so when he called and let me know he was on his way, I said that I would leave the front door unlocked because I might still be in the shower when he arrived.

I lived in a sort of cottage. When you came in the front door, there was a room in the front, which was kitchen, living room and dining room combined. There were two small bedrooms on the right, and the bath was at the rear. So, while I was in the bathroom drying off, when I heard someone mount the porch stairs. The front door opened, and I heard footsteps, and thought, Oh, he's already here! I called that I would be right out, got dressed, then came out into the living room. There was nobody there. Nor had I heard the sounds of anyone leaving, either. Five minutes later, Mr. Garnet arrived!
 

ozentity

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ow is it possible to be "haunted" by the presence of a still living person??
I believe some, but not all ghosts are just a replay of a time they were there, not a spirit. Maybe the same with your friend? Thanks for sharing that as it reinforces my belief. Could be why these can't be captured on film but spirits can, maybe?
 

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You can imagine my shock to find that, when I opened the door, she wasn't there. No one was - the house was empty.

I heard someone mount the porch stairs. The front door opened, and I heard footsteps, and thought, Oh, he's already here! I
Good Morning Rose, Garnet, and Oz. I’m always up for a good musing. Since 90% or more of my paranormal experiences involve psychic connections, I always look to see if/how telepathic communication might be the cause of or reason for a reported event.

First, the related non-paranormal premise - Very often, people anticipate what the senses of a coming event will be like - in both of your statements - the example would be what it would sound like when a loved one arrives. Separately, very often, people anticipate their own future actions - in your statements it would be your loved one’s (even semi-conscious) thinking about the sequential steps in the task of walking into your home with the positive expectation of seeing you. Your loved ones know unconsciously the steps they will take to approach your home, to enter the stoop, pass through the doorway, climb the stairs, etc.

Next, my paranormal conjecture - Boosted by your mutual anticipations, your psychic minds paired up and you were able to “hear” the sounds which are common to when your loved one approaches home. What I mean is, you were both anticipating the same actions and resulting sounds and your psychic connections made the sensory receptions especially real. I’m not implying that either of you did or did not actually hear the related noises. What I am saying is that the perception of those sounds seemed to occur from outside of your own heads…and, in deed they did…from inside their heads. The psychic reception of their (foreign and external) anticipatory thoughts were perceived as the related sounds familiar to both you and your loved one.

Corollary - The underlying mechanism for the above premise is not really that different from either of these seemingly common mundane experiences:
(a) when a person instantly knows who is calling them the moment their phone unexpectedly rings.
(b) when two persons who haven’t spoken in a long time seemingly simultaneously think about each other then meet up for real very soon after.
 
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garnetsilver

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This sounds about right, Wands! Did you see the movie, "Donny Darko" when they showed a visual for what happens when somebody anticipates doing something? Your explanation reminded me of that.
 

WitchAndShaman

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This sounds about right, Wands! Did you see the movie, "Donny Darko" when they showed a visual for what happens when somebody anticipates doing something? Your explanation reminded me of that.
I did - I watched that movie once but I was distracted the whole time. I’ll have to go find it so I can get your context GS.
 
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RoseRed

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I had a similar experience! It is validating to know that you experienced what you did, Rose. What happened was that when I was first dating Mr. Garnet, I was expecting him to come over. I wanted to take a quick shower before he arrived, so when he called and let me know he was on his way, I said that I would leave the front door unlocked because I might still be in the shower when he arrived.

I lived in a sort of cottage. When you came in the front door, there was a room in the front, which was kitchen, living room and dining room combined. There were two small bedrooms on the right, and the bath was at the rear. So, while I was in the bathroom drying off, when I heard someone mount the porch stairs. The front door opened, and I heard footsteps, and thought, Oh, he's already here! I called that I would be right out, got dressed, then came out into the living room. There was nobody there. Nor had I heard the sounds of anyone leaving, either. Five minutes later, Mr. Garnet arrived!
Wow - that does sound incredibly similar to my experience! I feel vindicated too - thank you for sharing your story Garnet.
 
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RoseRed

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I believe some, but not all ghosts are just a replay of a time they were there, not a spirit. Maybe the same with your friend? Thanks for sharing that as it reinforces my belief. Could be why these can't be captured on film but spirits can, maybe?
Now you mention it, I do recall an episode of a "Ghosts of Britain" type programme where someone had seen what they thought was a ghost of a young woman haunting a pub somewhere in the 1970s. However, they were startled to discover that the very same girl was alive and well and was living in the same town...

If only I could remember what the programme was called and maybe find it on YouTube or something...

But that would seem to support your theory, Oz. Thanks!
 
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RoseRed

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Good Morning Rose, Garnet, and Oz. I’m always up for a good musing. Since 90% or more of my paranormal experiences involve psychic connections, I always look to see if/how telepathic communication might be the cause of or reason for a reported event.

First, the related non-paranormal premise - Very often, people anticipate what the senses of a coming event will be like - in both of your statements - the example would be what it would sound like when a loved one arrives. Separately, very often, people anticipate their own future actions - in your statements it would be your loved one’s (even semi-conscious) thinking about the sequential steps in the task of walking into your home with the positive expectation of seeing you. Your loved ones know unconsciously the steps they will take to approach your home, to enter the stoop, pass through the doorway, climb the stairs, etc.

Next, my paranormal conjecture - Boosted by your mutual anticipations, your psychic minds paired up and you were able to “hear” the sounds which are common to when your loved one approaches home. What I mean is, you were both anticipating the same actions and resulting sounds and your psychic connections made the sensory receptions especially real. I’m not implying that either of you did or did not actually hear the related noises. What I am saying is that the perception of those sounds seemed to occur from outside of your own heads…and, in deed they did…from inside their heads. The psychic reception of their (foreign and external) anticipatory thoughts were perceived as the related sounds familiar to both you and your loved one.

Corollary - The underlying mechanism for the above premise is not really that different from either of these seemingly common mundane experiences:
(a) when a person instantly knows who is calling them the moment their phone unexpectedly rings.
(b) when two persons who haven’t spoken in a long time seemingly simultaneously think about each other then meet up for real very soon after.
This is a very interesting idea, Wands.

I'm loathe to believe it was the non-paranormal version as I believe myself to be very grounded (too grounded!?) in that respect, and therefore not really prone to "imagining" or anticipating things in that way (I don't think...?). Also, she was a college friend (not a loved one, so no special or intimate connection there) and I was not expecting her home until the evening (I heard her either in the late morning or afternoon), so there was no reason to be anticipating her arrival...

However, in light of the fact that I definitely heard what I heard, your second theory is intriguing... The only thing that doesn't make sense is the fact that she wasn't due home at that time so I can't imagine why she would be anticipating it, although it's not beyond the realms of possibility...

Also, with her being just a friend and not having any particularly intimate attachment to me, nor I to her, I'm not sure why our minds would sync in such a way. Again, though, fascinating to ponder...

Oh, and there's the whole thing of me having the psychic ability of a lump of concrete... :D But that's a whole other story!
 
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WitchAndShaman

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This is a very interesting idea, Wands.

I'm loathe to believe it was the non-paranormal version as I believe myself to be very grounded (too grounded!?) in that respect, and therefore not really prone to "imagining" or anticipating things in that way (I don't think...?). Also, she was a college friend (not a loved one, so no special or intimate connection there) and I was not expecting her home until the evening (I heard her either in the late morning or afternoon), so there was no reason to be anticipating her arrival...

However, in light of the fact that I definitely heard what I heard, your second theory is intriguing... The only thing that doesn't make sense is the fact that she wasn't due home at that time so I can't imagine why she would be anticipating it, although it's not beyond the realms of possibility...

Also, with her being just a friend and not having any particularly intimate attachment to me, nor I to her, I'm not sure why our minds would sync in such a way. Again, though, fascinating to ponder...

Oh, and there's the whole thing of me having the psychic ability of a lump of concrete... :D But that's a whole other story!
Rosered - I hope I didn’t overstep a boundary with my use of my general term of endearment - I very often think of my own close plantonic friends as “loved ones”.

So just to show you what I mean, I had a close and dear male friend who I was not in love with. One night he was awake reading a novel about maybe three miles from me. I was at home asleep and had no knowledge of that book. However, I “dreamt“ very specific details from four chapters of that book that very same night and told him my dream the next morning. He highlighted the sections in the novel then handed it to me to review. My dream - if you care to call it that - was very exact about specific details including the written physical description of the main female character, the written description of the locale where one meaningful action sequence takes place, and the bizzaro way in which the lead character uncovers exactly how the even more bizarro murders are taking place.
 
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