My Experiences | What is wrong with me?



This is going to be quite a long post, but I think it may help others to know they aren't alone! It'd also really help me to get this off my chest.


I cant ever remember a time not being afraid, paranoid, or "weird". My very first memory EVER was of my great grandmas funeral. I was around 2 years old, all I remember was a white dove with bright white light around it leaving her grave and flying away.

I always thought that it was a dream, up until recently when I asked my grandmother "Was I at her funeral?". I was shocked to find out, there was a dove, and I was there.

Growing up, I saw things...things I couldn't explain. I saw ( what I now know as ) spirits. I would also see other things, such as clowns, pitchforks raising from my bedroom floor. Then I turned 12, I moved into a new house with my mom and brother. At this age I was really depressed, and the experiences I was yet to have...would not help at all.

I was hospitalized for suicidal plans/thoughts. My mom told them about what had been happening to me...They diagnosed me with schizophrenia.

I can understand why they did that...I was hearing and seeing things. Makes sense right?

I did what I was told, took my medications and attempted to get better, and not freak out when i had a schizophrenic "episode".

Then things started to happen again, the new house that was once so exciting, became the most traumatizing thing in my life up to this point.

I saw "her" ( I am referring to the spirit that haunted me )

I was in my room with the door open, it was dark outside maybe around 9 pm? I was brushing my hair and started to get a weird feeling. The best way I can explain it is, absolute much fear you just freeze, and cant move. I felt someone staring at me, so I looked towards the doorway, and saw a young blonde girl peeking into my room, just staring. I saw her for a good 5 seconds, before she vanished.

That was the least problematic experience of them all. I wont be saying everything that happened to me in that house, if I were to do that...this post would be too long.

The worst thing that happened to me ever took place in that house though. I fell asleep on the couch in the living room, i woke up either late at night or very early morning, it was still dark out. For some reason I got up from the couch and went to the top of my basement stairs, and just stared down. There she was, in a split second she ran up the stairs, and punched me, kicked me then ran back down... she did this a couple of times until i was on the floor. I'm not sure how long that went on for, but i ended up on the couch in the morning. I'm not sure if this was a dream or not! I question it, because when i woke up I was in physical pain. I didn't notice any bruising or marks...but i was in pain.

We ended up moving out for reasons I do not remember at all. But years later I learned that I wasn't the only one who was being messed with. My mom, had it just about as bad as me. My brother didn't have as much happen to him, just little things like feeling someone breathing on his neck or his stuff flying across the room.

I'm 18 now, Id like to say that all these weird things stopped. They haven't

I still see spirits, both dark and light. I still get weird vibes, and feel energy. I still have weird lucid dreams, some that even predict the future.

I know I am not crazy, My cousin ( we are really close ) has experienced things with me. Honestly, sometimes I think It is me who causes these experiences. Or i attract this stuff...she has never experienced anything paranormal, only when shes with me.

The reason I decided to write this is because around 3 hours ago, something weird happened. We were just playing some games together on our computers, when I decided to tell her about a paranormal experience I had when I was younger. ( just a side note: this experience that we were discussing was when i was 11 and a demon came over me when i was in bed and told me "i'm coming for you") So we were just talking about it and all the sudden I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up, it felt like static. Like when you rub a balloon on your hair and it starts to get static ..that's what it felt like. So I put my hand and touched my hair, as soon as i did, the lights in the room went off, not all of the lights though ( we have Christmas lights up, only some of them went off ). She was so scared, i tried to tell her it was okay, to not show her fear because they feed on fear. I kept trying to explain to her that it cant hurt us and we started to pray...then the lights went back on. We were both pretty spooked. A few minutes later after trying to avoid what happened we started to talk about it soon as we started to talk the lights went off, I felt sick to my stomach at that point. I was lightheaded and started to feel hot and sweaty. We sat there in silence and the lights eventually came back on. I told her not to say anything out loud but to text my grandma ( who was in her room at the time ) and tell her what was happening. I knew texting would be the best option, obviously it wasn't helping to say things out loud. Nothing has happened since. She fell asleep.

I have no explanation for anything that's happened to me. What I can say is I was born this way, and honestly I don't think there is anything I can do to change the way I am.

There is so much more than what I have written here.

Feel free to share similar experiences, advice, or opinions on this.

Also if there is anything I can do to protect myself PLEASE let me know! I have had very few positive experiences...and if i have to deal with this, I don't want to risk something bad happening. So some tips and advice would be appreciated!

Much love

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** November Member of the Month ** Art Bell fan
Tier-1 Mod
Oct 4, 2015
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Hi Joe and welcome to the forum. You seem to have some physic gifts. Perhaps finding a mentor to help you develop or control them would be a help. An older experienced person with similar abilities. You may have to do some networking and web searching to find someone in your area. Also consulting with a clergy in your faith may be necessary if you are being oppressed by negative entities. This is beyond my ability to advise so I will let others take over. Referring you to seek guidance and spiritual protection is my best advice.


Sep 16, 2013
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South of Indy
Hi again, Joe, and my apologies for dropping the quick link but it was almost 2 AM and it was the best I could do at that hour. :)

Lynne offers a good idea. At your young age, finding a mentor in your area to help guide you with this is probably what you need right now. I would also suggest you start educating yourself on the paranormal by reading up on it as much as possible from reliable sources. There are many subjects covered here on site, and many good podcasts and radio programs that can expand your knowledge base.

That link I gave you covers what to do in the meantime to keep yourself safe. The paranormal world is not to be "played" with. It's real. Even science is now showing us that there is something out there...something to this...and there is both a dark and a light side to it.


** May Member of the Month **
Jun 19, 2018
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Welcome, Joe! I can sympathize with your experiences, because I have had some that are similar. I am glad that you found us, and I hope that we can be of help to you. Please follow the link that Debi gave you for protecting yourself from these malevolent energies. No one should have to put up with that, and there are excellent suggestions for ways to deal with it. Again, welcome!
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Wind in Trees

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May 16, 2019
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Just wanted to to say jxelle, that there is nothing wrong with you. Glad you found a place to talk about things. There is plenty of guidance and good vibes here.

Hope you feel better and welcome to the forum.