Me an empath?!

[Selectric]

Every so often these things come out. Perhaps we need them to? I don't know. This is a new way of thought presented to me recently. The first time i heard empath was in Star Trek lol. Good old Counselor Troi and her abilities to feel others thoughts etc. I have always regarded others thoughts and feeling before mine. Never once did i ever think empath. The older i get, along with insight from others, it begins to make sense. There is a need, if that is the correct assumption, to take in those feelings and veer them away from those you wish to help, but in essence, take into yourself. The world has always been screwed up. I have always found myself caught up in that tug-of-war pulling me every-which-way. I am a guy, so deep rooted feelings was something i kept away from others. Every so often they had to come out and i found most ran the opposite direction. So, i suppressed them. Eventually you come to a realization, who cares what others think. It's what you think and feel that really matters. Another friend of mine said, you can't help everyone. We can try. You will burn the hell out and there will be nothing left for yourself. There is a balance somewhere i have not found yet. Perhaps you are not supposed to. We are put here for a reason...not indefinite carvings up of yourself. I believe there may be a select few that you are supposed to touch their lives and that is why you are who you are. I am beginning to understand the draining nature of this. It can peck away at your very being. To make matters worse, there are those 'things' unseen that sense this and come in to strip the bones. Tug-of-war? That's an understatement. It's a battle to keep what is you every single day. Finally after all this time i am able to see and understand this. It is debilitating on your very core. I am a music lover and this is probably where this is stemming from tonight. But, i believe without it, i would've been drained far long ago before actually knowing what was being done. It is like a recharge of your soul. There are those who don't believe/understand this empathic ability. Trust me, i was one of them. It is no made up story or hallucination or tv character. I didn't put it into perspective until recently. I only wish i had far earlier than now. Understanding and closing that gate until knowing it is required is quite a fundamental task in it's own.

 

[ozentity]

Understanding and closing that gate until knowing it is required is quite a fundamental task in it's own

You have to and it's a constant battle. I don't know if you should feel obligated at all.

 

[Selectric]

You have to and it's a constant battle. I don't know if you should feel obligated at all.

Helping people always felt right, though coming to present, never knew how much anxiety or grief i took in. Never once occurred to me why i was never comfortable around certain large crowds of people. Depending on the type of crowd, say a funeral, is probably the most draining experiences i've had. Flying on a plane i used to absolutely love as a kid. The older i get i can become riddled with anxiety for what was thought to be no reason. Concerts i never had a problem as i am too busy taking in the music and generally the feel of everyone is the same. The only concert i did not feel right was the previous one. I didn't understand it at all and affected me the entire night. Didn't know until the following week that my best friend may have died that same day or evening.

 

[Lynne]

Every so often these things come out. Perhaps we need them to? I don't know. This is a new way of thought presented to me recently. The first time i heard empath was in Star Trek lol. Good old Counselor Troi and her abilities to feel others thoughts etc. I have always regarded others thoughts and feeling before mine. Never once did i ever think empath. The older i get, along with insight from others, it begins to make sense. There is a need, if that is the correct assumption, to take in those feelings and veer them away from those you wish to help, but in essence, take into yourself. The world has always been screwed up. I have always found myself caught up in that tug-of-war pulling me every-which-way. I am a guy, so deep rooted feelings was something i kept away from others. Every so often they had to come out and i found most ran the opposite direction. So, i suppressed them. Eventually you come to a realization, who cares what others think. It's what you think and feel that really matters. Another friend of mine said, you can't help everyone. We can try. You will burn the hell out and there will be nothing left for yourself. There is a balance somewhere i have not found yet. Perhaps you are not supposed to. We are put here for a reason...not indefinite carvings up of yourself. I believe there may be a select few that you are supposed to touch their lives and that is why you are who you are. I am beginning to understand the draining nature of this. It can peck away at your very being. To make matters worse, there are those 'things' unseen that sense this and come in to strip the bones. Tug-of-war? That's an understatement. It's a battle to keep what is you every single day. Finally after all this time i am able to see and understand this. It is debilitating on your very core. I am a music lover and this is probably where this is stemming from tonight. But, i believe without it, i would've been drained far long ago before actually knowing what was being done. It is like a recharge of your soul. There are those who don't believe/understand this empathic ability. Trust me, i was one of them. It is no made up story or hallucination or tv character. I didn't put it into perspective until recently. I only wish i had far earlier than now. Understanding and closing that gate until knowing it is required is quite a fundamental task in it's own.

Thanks for sharing such a deeply personal revelation. It is through sharing that we help others. It's interesting that you mention music as a catalyst for emotion and insight, it is really just a vibration just like the energy of emotion. I have never considered myself an empath, but I do identify with others pain and have a soft heart. I have been taken to the cleaners emotionally and financially in my life. I have moved past the anger and disappointment and chalked it up to a learning experience. I figure the universe keeps the tabs; I don't have to. You may need to employ some of the empathic defenses that Debi has listed here somewhere. Learning to shield yourself is probably the most important. Recognizing what feelings are really yours is a good one too. Depression can whipe out an empath.

 

[Debi]

Every so often these things come out. Perhaps we need them to? I don't know. This is a new way of thought presented to me recently. The first time i heard empath was in Star Trek lol. Good old Counselor Troi and her abilities to feel others thoughts etc. I have always regarded others thoughts and feeling before mine. Never once did i ever think empath. The older i get, along with insight from others, it begins to make sense. There is a need, if that is the correct assumption, to take in those feelings and veer them away from those you wish to help, but in essence, take into yourself. The world has always been screwed up. I have always found myself caught up in that tug-of-war pulling me every-which-way. I am a guy, so deep rooted feelings was something i kept away from others. Every so often they had to come out and i found most ran the opposite direction. So, i suppressed them. Eventually you come to a realization, who cares what others think. It's what you think and feel that really matters. Another friend of mine said, you can't help everyone. We can try. You will burn the hell out and there will be nothing left for yourself. There is a balance somewhere i have not found yet. Perhaps you are not supposed to. We are put here for a reason...not indefinite carvings up of yourself. I believe there may be a select few that you are supposed to touch their lives and that is why you are who you are. I am beginning to understand the draining nature of this. It can peck away at your very being. To make matters worse, there are those 'things' unseen that sense this and come in to strip the bones. Tug-of-war? That's an understatement. It's a battle to keep what is you every single day. Finally after all this time i am able to see and understand this. It is debilitating on your very core. I am a music lover and this is probably where this is stemming from tonight. But, i believe without it, i would've been drained far long ago before actually knowing what was being done. It is like a recharge of your soul. There are those who don't believe/understand this empathic ability. Trust me, i was one of them. It is no made up story or hallucination or tv character. I didn't put it into perspective until recently. I only wish i had far earlier than now. Understanding and closing that gate until knowing it is required is quite a fundamental task in it's own.

Empathic abilities...the people who have them are usually the last to know what they are. I sometimes have to ask myself "are these your feelings or do they belong to someone else?" Especially when in a crowd.