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Donna K.

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First, and again, in this repetitive time/circumstance from hell loop I seem to be stuck in, I apologize for disappearing 'again' after sincerely saying "not gonna happen"....

Normally, I would seek out a private conversation with Debi in this situation when I win the ability to manuver back to Debi's House - but this time I have decided to post openly to speak of this ever evolving wtf I have been battling now for months and months... for two reasons. First, it is unexpected (as in not ordinary behavior in the mattter) in hopes that any change up is a good thing, uncharacteristic maybe better... and next, because of the wide diversity of those who are regulars here - both in Spiritual Paths and far-reaching knowledge/Wisdoms.

I don't know whether to post this in Paranormal Experience's - which it most certainly is - or Spirituality... which is the end-game I think... so I'm just spinning the wheel and letting it land where it falls.

It would take day's... weeks... months... YEARS... to go from point A to now so that's out; So I will start at the 'end-game' which without a single doubt - I am sure... is the point I am standing on now.

I will do my best to make sense.

Like many of you, I have lived my whole life Walking in two worlds and most of that Walk has not been pleasant. But, ya know, where there is great darkness there is also great Light... and my Spirit has grown strong, my Faith stronger... throughout the years.

Then, starting last March/April - just about the time of that dam*ed magnetic wave thing - things got hmmmm 'tilted'... or hmmmm 'distorted' oh I don't know - just 'wrong'.

Debi knows some of this, but the thing in a nut shell is... I have been under constant attack... physically, mentally, emotional, and Spiritually since that time, by an enemy I can NOT discern (see, hear, feel, smell, sense) and in which nothing... and I mean nothing... in my experience or arsenal (neither of which is small by any means) has any affect. At All.

The sole purpose of this relentless onslaught (and I have been wrong a whole bunch of times to this point) seems to simple be... to wear me down... literally and figuratively - but for what reason??? I can only think either - it or they or whatever want me dead. OR it or they or whatever want me to rescind my Faith... then die (for I surely would).

Whatever or whoever, is orchestrating this madness - it not only affects me, but the land around me... not to mention my animals and God knows, the little cabin... I think I'm stuck in a Steven King novel.

I have very few 'solids' in all this - but I decided to come here with what I do have and throw it out to see if anything strikes any of you as familiar.

(1) It drinks (or absorbs) Light. Literally. I am running 100 watt LEDS and in the daytime with all shades up in full sunlight - you can literally witness the light dimming. Not like electrical draw - like a fri**en sponge soaking it up. This happens inside and out.

(2) Some sort of surges - or emittance (whatever) that pulse... and when they get full out, every joint in your body aches like an exposed nerve in a tooth... IF you have an injury it ram's that pain up to about a thousand. Like I said, it comes in waves or pulses... no discernable pattern or time or day or whatever.

(3) (and this one has developed over time so it took me a while) Glass. Glass shatters. Shattered glass. Alot. Whether it is someone throwing something glass, or glass getting knocked or dropped (both obvious but see... that is not the whole of it) - 2 weeks ago the picture window in the kitchen shattered, a Cross made of glass that was on a table in the bedroom (empty bedroom) hit the beedroom wall with such force that it left an imprint on the wall and pulverized it so completely into tiny shards that it looked like dust coming from under the door (which was closed) - before that, a box of old christmas bulbs I had stored under the bed exploded, a candle holder (complete with candle which was burning) flew off the the ledge that marks the opening between the living room and kitchen, threw wax everywhere and shattered (on carpet) and so on... (it seems to stay clear of appliances or electronics like the TV or Microwave etc...) so, the thing either hates glass or what??? But tiny slivers of broken glass are everywhere no matter how often I sweep or vacumn or clean or tape or pitch or or or. I am down to 2 drinking glasses.

(4) It is heavy - physically, like a boulder on your shoulders... emotionally, a heavy despondency... mentally, a block of granite to your thinking process --- and Spiritually, like being entombed... forsaken... hopeless.

(5) It slinks in slowly, like oozing mud - it doesn't attack until it's got it's base's covered... so one minute your la la la'ing and all of a sudden it's on. I think it would like to be considered instantaneous, but I don't think so. I think it spends time 'building' and is very good at staying in the shadows, gathering energy or mutating or solidifying or becoming or whatever - before it says 'Boo'. Once it starts its full force and it might go on for hours or days but its here and its comfortable. It doesn't slink out. It is just gone. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the pressure/heaviness is gone - but the after effects linger while you wonder when you went insane and why you aren't all of a sudden. I can tell ya I have some major PTSD... but trying to wait it out or prepare or find a pattern is useless.

I've thrown everything I've got at it/this/they whatever guys ... I've used weapon's that laid some dark DARK stuff down. I've Called upon The Guardians and Warriors of Light, I've Called upon The Creator... I don't think I'm being ignored - I think I am either being 'blocked/misconnected' or or or... I feel like (I sincerely HOPE) I am missing something I either never learned or have forgotten. 'sigh'

Okay folks... any and all opinions, thoughts, or idea's are welcome. And a prayer or two wouldn't hurt either. And I don't ask lightly.
 

Debi

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Donna, I am circling you in prayer and White Light. You have done battle with the Darkness for a long time, and it knows you as a Warrior. I would ask our members here to add into that White Light of Protection for you to keep you safe.

There is much Darkness in the world right now and sometimes that energy can take on a form of it's own. And sometimes it becomes aware of someone who has seen it's like before. Many people who have been attacked by what we name as demons appear to be "tagged", or known, and seem to stand out like beacons for further attacks. I know Donna's back story, so I know this may indeed be the case here. I don't believe this to be a "demon" in the normal definition, but something "other" which may be nameless. What I do know is that we can send prayers, intentions, and that Light of Protection to her as she battles this.

Donna, I light a candle of protection to send light to you and pray for your protection.
 
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Donna K.

Donna K.

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Thank you all and Bless you, for coming to form this Circle of Light and Energy for me. It is a testament to my frustration and bewilderment that finally sent me here to make the Call. I am suppose to be the Protector. It is what I do. It is MY job to - well - be here for you all in the Spiritual World... I have failed miserably many times but we have had many successes too. It has been a very VERY long time since I have shown the face of The Childe that I truly am - to more than a very few... a Child of Earth doing her best to Walk in the Guardians footsteps. But this thing, I just truly do not understand and I'm really really tired. This thing has stolen the Joy from my life and the Light from my Days. It is unpredictable - except that it most certainly is not going away. EVERY time I let my guard down... EVERY TIME... it slaps me to my knees. It is stripping me of all self-respect. Turns me into a whimpering, lost, something... that I do not recognize. I have been many things, but I have never been a coward. I have never gone to my knee's for any entity or energy except The Creator - but this one - this one... literally makes me forget who I am. I have not gone to my knees, but I am definitely bent by the will of this - what? - thing... and it will catch me in the middle of a laugh or playing with my animals or watching a movie or baking a frigging cake while humming a tune - happy you know - and down I go like a whipped dog and it takes a tremendous effort both physically and Spiritually to stop flinching and HOLD. It is absolutely INSANE.

I don't think I can beat it. I am blocked from seeing it, at all... not a flutter, not a smell, not a thrum, not a flicker... But, I think WE can. I think it steals my identity - Spiritually and Physically I become 'not me'. But, I was listening to this guy on you tube the other day and he said "you don't notify your creditors if you decide to run out on them. And you don't tell Satan if your leaving the game" He said, "you have to decide and react at the exact same moment..." Like loosing an arrow in archery.

There is great Power of Light here. I didn't think I just came. And I truly believe there is a answer. A NAME to place on this thing. And when I have it - it will simply cease to be. If I am to be humbled, let it be before my friends... in this Circle. Here... you will remember me for me, if you see. Regardless of what happens in the Mirror.

If I didn't know it to be almost impossible... I would consider this all to be a work of dark Magick - human/s - but if it is, 'shudder', they would make Crowley look like Pooh Bear - 'shudder again'

Okay. That's enough. Debi's House has Wisdom's in uncountable Pathways. Somewhere, in all that, is the answer.

At the very least, the victim I have become (it seems) has revealed the thing to others. Abuser's HATE that. lol
 

Lynne

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Donna I am so horrified at what you are going through. Do you think there’s a possibility it’s a government experiment ? Like a sound beam of some sort, or some type of beam type weapon. I know you are very rural. Do you think it may not be spiritual but maybe aliens? In which case I haven’t a clue as to what to do. Does it follow you? Does changing locations have an effect on the events occurring ?
 

garnetsilver

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Donna I am so horrified at what you are going through. Do you think there’s a possibility it’s a government experiment ? Like a sound beam of some sort, or some type of beam type weapon. I know you are very rural. Do you think it may not be spiritual but maybe aliens? In which case I haven’t a clue as to what to do. Does it follow you? Does changing locations have an effect on the events occurring ?
This is a very good point; I hadn't thought of that at all. After all, Donna can't seem to get a "sense" of what it is.
 
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Donna K.

Donna K.

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Donna I am so horrified at what you are going through. Do you think there’s a possibility it’s a government experiment ? Like a sound beam of some sort, or some type of beam type weapon. I know you are very rural. Do you think it may not be spiritual but maybe aliens? In which case I haven’t a clue as to what to do. Does it follow you? Does changing locations have an effect on the events occurring ?

I have been a little leery of coming these long weeks because - well - who knows if this - NOT (best description) is a rider or a virus or who KNOWS... so, as I told Debi... I waited for a clearer/clarity of the Path that leads me here cause crap - hopefully it doesn't spread.

Thank you Lynne, for you words... and yes I have thought of both these possibilities... and not for the first time nor for only this experience. I spent long wasted months of time in a battle with Weapon's that simply had no affect - and even more time calling Violation! VIOLATION! Where's the Ref??? Did someone publish a new Rulebook and forget to get me a copy???? HEY! Months wasted before I realized - OTHER. NOT... New Game New Rules... and by then I was already tired and indignant and the table had turned (so to speak). HUMAN then, or rather PHYSICAL then... I was attempting to fight a PHYSICAL battle with Spiritual Weapons... I needed a GUN and some Razor Wire and my Cammie's and Combat boots... but it isn't that simple either. In the end, it IS Spiritual because it is a VIOLATION of Creation - Is all I can think/say. It is NOT. It is OTHER. - but, there is definately the stench of human/alien/hybrid whatever whoever's all over this thing. And in THAT lies the loophole/s I think... that have allowed or are allowing this perversion of IS to - to - VIOLATE. 'sigh'

The battle is ongoing - but hey - what ever it wants, it seems to need me to give it freely - and ahhhhh NO - rot in hell - you golem of nothingness. For I do know THIS... what I SEE, The Creator SEE'S. And I spend lots and lots and LOTS of time scanning and recording and TRANSMITTING to The Creator... and His Covenant with me HOLDS... and this, this, Mirror of Nothingness - will meet his UNCREATOR before this War is done. 'spits' and 'spits' again

And I will go Home.

Okay... I'm getting riled up again... lolol

I wish you all Love, Light and Laughter... Until the Lily Calls