You need to write a book lol. Loved this story Ben.The guy told me. I may have been assistant manager (or ass manager, as I liked to joke*) but I was very friendly and down to earth. We were chatting about stupid things we'd done at work and he dropped that bombshell. I had to give a speech. Honestly! I know I pointed out that they were only employed 15 hours a week and had 153 hours to boff each other senseless, but we were paying them a pittance to keep their pants on for just a few hours a week and do some work and also that if I ever heard that the shop had been mysteriously shut when they were working from any customer then they would have to shag at McDonalds instead. I didn't put it in any report though or tell the manager. We stayed friendly and I don't think they did it again. Honestly, people do get annoyed if the shop's shut, so it would have been found out.
I never did anything like that at work. I just built a gigantic throne out of cases of booze and would sit on it surveying my kingdom and saying 'my precious' a lot.
*which was pretty appropriate in this case