here is the link to what i'm referring to as a possible reason the OP is being tortured:
Law Enforcement Complicity in Electronic Torture & Mind Control in America, Part 2 (March 14, 2009)
this is an excerpt which describes what i am talking about:
"The perpetrators of mind control are very methodical and deliberate. Trainers of the handlers must have studied a very detailed training manual. At first, the handlers normally only call the victims ugly names, then they gradually begin to talk directly to the victim. Over time the victim learns that he can also talk to them. Finally, the two parties establish a dialogue albeit in an acrimonious fashion. Once I found out that I could also “speak” to the sickos telepathically, I used that ability to ridicule, taunt, and demean them."
i just threw this out as a possibility of what's wrong. i'm not changing the subject.