How old were you....

[Debi]

Ever since my brother and I became teenagers we became the pallbearers.

My admiration for you grows. Well done, Paint.

 

[garnetsilver]

Garnet that is a terrible story.
Hi E !

Well, I finally got over it when I bought a beautiful doll with a porcelain head, arms and legs, when I was in my thirties. The doll wore an old fashioned dress with a white pinafore over it, and I found her in a shop that sold only dolls of this sort. It was a gift to myself for making headway in therapy. So anyway, I was drawn to this doll and bought it home. That first night I started feeling afraid of the doll, had nightmares, and finally had to take it out of my bedroom and place it somewhere safe until I could figure out what the heck was going on.

I hadn't sensed any evil about the doll, so as I searched for a safe place to put it, I decided for some reason to put it back in the original box and place it up on a bookcase. Then I felt inspired to place a candle at the head and at the feet of the doll. I started to have a sort of panic attack, realized that a long buried memory was surfacing, and called my therapist. Luckily she was available, and then the whole awful memory came pouring out. Once it was released, I called my mother and she verified it. I also owned a dress with a white pinafore when I was a little girl.

So after that, I came to love that doll very much; I still make clothes for her and keep her in a safe place, since I am a Grandma.

 

[Rowan2222]

I was in my mid teens when an uncle died, followed by an aunt, then another aunt. The thing is most of my relatives lived down in Devon, and we were up in Liverpool so was a full day to get down there. We always went down on holiday to stay at my grandmas, but inevitably we always went down there for a funeral also. So when we headed off I didn't know whether it was for a happy week or for a funeral. Most were cremated.

Well done to paint for carrying the dead weight.

 

[garnetsilver]

One positive thing about funerals, is that later on in life I became a memorial counselor. Meaning that I sold funeral and pre-need arrangements for a living, as well as met the funeral cortege at the cemetery gates in my car and led them to their burial spot. I always felt this nice feeling of completion when the funeral was over and the loved one sent on their way to peace.

 

[Paintman]

Garnet, that's so cool. That is a Corporal work of Mercy. I like to think that God gives us a little pat on the head..

 

[Paintman]

There was one thing that my brother and I share that nobody else gets to get, and that is funeral humor. We have a few inside jokes. And God forbid anybody say anything disrespectful and we will jump on them.
Stuff like," Damn, I wish Frank ate
more salads."
In the big picture we were young men, lifting weights, Pete set a national powerlifting record, and I won some national USA bodybuilding championships. We are the guys you want in the middle.

 

[SierraRocks]

I wasn't allowed to go to my grandfathers funeral - told I was too young. My first funeral was my boyfriends'. Shock. Huge public event. Just shock life's meaning changed. His mom had me stand with family & said you would have been my daughter-in-law. He was valvictorian of his 650 person class just set for university. He & my brother were in the chess club but could he dance. I was working on Sierra trails away from the farm community weeks, or I would probably have been in the car with him. That fall I applied to universities far from home. A numb semester. His friends surrounded me, one took me to prom, later his best friend chaperoned every visit from my college boyfriend interviewing, approving him taking our engagement photographs, arranging chairs at my wedding, furniture for my first apartment. Years later his friends did my dishes when my grandmother died & I was sad. I was launched in love. At the funeral I didnt know that flow talk & love would ever be again.

 

[Lynne]

I wasn't allowed to go to my grandfathers funeral - told I was too young. My first funeral was my boyfriends'. Shock. Huge public event. Just shock life's meaning changed. His mom had me stand with family & said you would have been my daughter-in-law. He was valvictorian of his 650 person class just set for university. He & my brother were in the chess club but could he dance. I was working on Sierra trails away from the farm community weeks, or I would probably have been in the car with him. That fall I applied to universities far from home. A numb semester. His friends surrounded me, one took me to prom, later his best friend chaperoned every visit from my college boyfriend interviewing, approving him taking our engagement photographs, arranging chairs at my wedding, furniture for my first apartment. Years later his friends did my dishes when my grandmother died & I was sad. I was launched in love. At the funeral I didnt know that flow talk & love would ever be again.

Sierra this was your best written post. I can feel this from the heart. It is sad but beauty and love came from it. So sorry this happened to you but love came to you from other directions. Sounds like you made a life after this. Thanks for sharing.