Hello everyone, Fair warning, this may be a long thread. I’ve never told anyone of these experiences except for my husband and while he’s supportive, he also has no idea why these things have and continue to happen to me. I’m hoping someone here will be more knowledgeable than us and can help me better understand. Since I was little, I’ve always had problems with sleep paralysis and some really freaky occurrences while awake. To keep it short, I’ll only describe a few most notable ones. When I was 12 or 13, I was sleeping at my dad’s house while he was still at work. Suddenly, someone poked me on my shoulder and startled me awake. When I woke up, no one was there but I heard a little girl laughing. Assuming my dad got home and brought my little cousin (she was going to stay with us for the weekend), I went out of my room to look for them. There was no one, his car was still gone. I was still home alone. Occasionally at that house, when I was home alone at night before he got back, I’d hear someone knock on the door, but when I opened it or looked out of the window, no one was there. I’d be wide awake when I would hear the knocking, so I know it wasn’t just something I dreamt. When I was 20, my mom passed away from suicide. I was her next of kin and given her ashes to hold on to until we spread them. Before we spread her ashes while they were still in my house, I had a bout of sleep paralysis. In the dream/hallucination that accompanied it, I saw my mom head to toe stand in the doorway of my room, but she was all dark grey/black with red eyes. While I desperately tried to wake myself up, she threw me around the room, into the ceiling, twisting my arms and spine. It felt super real and hurt so much, and I couldn’t wake myself up. When I finally did, she was gone, nothing in the room changed, but I still felt as though I had been tossed around like a rag doll. I cried for a long time because it felt so real and I was trapped. It made her passing even harder on me. After we spread her ashes, I didn’t have another sleep paralysis nightmare involving her again, although sleep paralysis does still happen. More recently, whenever I talk about, think about, or watch anything paranormal related, I have a horrible feeling of someone over my left shoulder (no idea if that’s significant) and that shoulder/arm is measurably colder than the rest of my body. If I continue to talk about/think/watch this stuff beyond 5 minutes, if feels like someone/something is poking/pushing into my left shoulder blade at my back and the longer I do it, the more painful it is. It feels like someone/something doesn’t want me digging into this at all. Even typing this out, my left shoulder is cold and I can feel it digging. There’s more experiences I’ve had over the years, but these ones stand out the most. I do still have sleep paralysis occasionally (I have since I was 5, so it’s nothing new), the dreams that accompany it are always super realistic, take place in the location I’m currently in, but I have been able to figure out that I’m still asleep by trying to switch on lights/use electronics (they never work, any of them). When that happens, I instantly start trying to wake myself up and focus solely on that so if anything terrifying does happen, I’m too busy trying to wake up to realize what’s going on. The last time it happened was about a month ago, but I was thankfully able to wake myself up before any entities showed up in my dream. I’m not sure if these things are all connected, as well as some of the other things that have happened in my life. I did ask my tarot deck if I was naturally sensitive to spirits and the answer I got was yes, but there’s mental blocks (upright Fool, upright 2 of Wands, and reverse seven of swords for anyone who does tarot). I have not tried contacting any entities/spirits. I do own a super old ouija board (from the 1940s), but I have never used it. No spirit boxes, no evp attempts, to pendulums, etc. because honestly, I don’t feel comfortable trying to contact any of that alone if there is something following me/about me that draws shit in. Sorry for the long ramble of a post. If anyone can help me figure out what’s been going on with any of this or have any advice for what I should do, I’d really appreciate it.