Meet the People Selling Haunted Dolls on eBay
Meet the People Selling Haunted Dolls on eBay
$50 for the soul of a dead child? What a steal!
The 37-year old woman behind the HauntedDollys [sic] eBay storefront is at her best when she's drafting up her item descriptions. "CLEANSE YOUR HOME, THIS STATUE IS A HOUSE BLESSING!" she bangs out in 18-point capital Arial letters. "MAYBE THERE IS SOMETHING EVIL LURKING IN THE SHADOWS. MAYBE YOU ARE CURSED. IT COULD BE NUMEROUS REASONS WHY YOU ARE HAVING A SPAT OF BAD LUCK. THAT IS WHY YOU NEED TO HAVE PROTECTION, AND PROTECTION THAT WORKS AND IS SURE TO GET THE JOB DONE."
The appurtenance itself, a two-foot marble seraph gently considering the thistled bird's nest in her palms, is priced at $199. HauntedDollys, in her usual witchy jargon, dubs the listing a "Haunted POWERFUL Angel statue." It peacefully takes its place alongside the rest of her inventory, all bearing a similar brand: "Haunted ALIEN ENTITY CRYSTAL BALL" (a glass orb with a few stray plastic planets inside), "Haunted MAGICAL WISH GRANTING FROG" (a stone toad on a small pedestal), "Haunted MAGICAL HEALING TATTOOS" (a wax-paper sheet bearing 16 press-on Hennas). She's been managing this eBay account since June, and has racked up a 319 positive reviews and a 99.1 percent approval rating. There is only one instance of sour grapes, from an anonymous customer who was apparently disappointed with his "Haunted WISH GRANTING STAR FAE FAIRY NOTEBOOK." "I should've known this was a hoax," the comment reads. "Enjoy your cash you con."
This is the world of Haunted eBay: a loose confederation of paranormal sales-people passing on their home-cooked mysticism to souls in need. HauntedDollys's business model is quite simple. As she explains over email, her supply comes from either collectors of haunted items who are downsizing, or by taking "ordinary objects" and binding "a spirit to the vessel." ("This is either done by myself or a friend of mine who's a sorcerer," she says.) If you browse her wares, you'll find a lot of items that seem to be reclaimed from your local thrift shop—passed-off ornaments of kitsch, with a vague phantasmagoric glimmer. The real work to being a successful capitalist witch is all in the presentation; creating the perfect pitch to convince the skeptics and lifers that your inventory is more supernatural than the rest.
There's no rhyme or reason to what's deemed to be haunted, though the most popular subdivision of the paranormal eBay trade by far are children's dolls. A search for "haunted dolls" yields hundreds of results. The toys themselves are fashionably Victorian—porcelain faces, frilly dresses, rosy cheeks—and each come with their own autobiographical ghost story. Like Lillian, for instance. For sale by a merchant named Fayetality, Lillian contains the spirit of a dead ten-year old girl who cracked her head open after slipping on icy steps, according to the listing. She can communicate with a potential buyer through "spirit board, pendulum, EVP, spirit dice, and in dreams."
"Please be prepared for paranormal activity if you decide to adopt sweet Lillian," writes Fayetallity. "Be assured—she is an innocent, pure child of white light. Nothing negative will ever arise from Lillian. She is beyond kind. When you feel Lillian's presence, you feel how pure her intentions are. Lillian reduces anxiety, and keeps negative feelings as well as entities at bay. She is truly a spiritual presence that will make a believer."
Full story at site
Meet the People Selling Haunted Dolls on eBay
$50 for the soul of a dead child? What a steal!
The 37-year old woman behind the HauntedDollys [sic] eBay storefront is at her best when she's drafting up her item descriptions. "CLEANSE YOUR HOME, THIS STATUE IS A HOUSE BLESSING!" she bangs out in 18-point capital Arial letters. "MAYBE THERE IS SOMETHING EVIL LURKING IN THE SHADOWS. MAYBE YOU ARE CURSED. IT COULD BE NUMEROUS REASONS WHY YOU ARE HAVING A SPAT OF BAD LUCK. THAT IS WHY YOU NEED TO HAVE PROTECTION, AND PROTECTION THAT WORKS AND IS SURE TO GET THE JOB DONE."
The appurtenance itself, a two-foot marble seraph gently considering the thistled bird's nest in her palms, is priced at $199. HauntedDollys, in her usual witchy jargon, dubs the listing a "Haunted POWERFUL Angel statue." It peacefully takes its place alongside the rest of her inventory, all bearing a similar brand: "Haunted ALIEN ENTITY CRYSTAL BALL" (a glass orb with a few stray plastic planets inside), "Haunted MAGICAL WISH GRANTING FROG" (a stone toad on a small pedestal), "Haunted MAGICAL HEALING TATTOOS" (a wax-paper sheet bearing 16 press-on Hennas). She's been managing this eBay account since June, and has racked up a 319 positive reviews and a 99.1 percent approval rating. There is only one instance of sour grapes, from an anonymous customer who was apparently disappointed with his "Haunted WISH GRANTING STAR FAE FAIRY NOTEBOOK." "I should've known this was a hoax," the comment reads. "Enjoy your cash you con."
This is the world of Haunted eBay: a loose confederation of paranormal sales-people passing on their home-cooked mysticism to souls in need. HauntedDollys's business model is quite simple. As she explains over email, her supply comes from either collectors of haunted items who are downsizing, or by taking "ordinary objects" and binding "a spirit to the vessel." ("This is either done by myself or a friend of mine who's a sorcerer," she says.) If you browse her wares, you'll find a lot of items that seem to be reclaimed from your local thrift shop—passed-off ornaments of kitsch, with a vague phantasmagoric glimmer. The real work to being a successful capitalist witch is all in the presentation; creating the perfect pitch to convince the skeptics and lifers that your inventory is more supernatural than the rest.
There's no rhyme or reason to what's deemed to be haunted, though the most popular subdivision of the paranormal eBay trade by far are children's dolls. A search for "haunted dolls" yields hundreds of results. The toys themselves are fashionably Victorian—porcelain faces, frilly dresses, rosy cheeks—and each come with their own autobiographical ghost story. Like Lillian, for instance. For sale by a merchant named Fayetality, Lillian contains the spirit of a dead ten-year old girl who cracked her head open after slipping on icy steps, according to the listing. She can communicate with a potential buyer through "spirit board, pendulum, EVP, spirit dice, and in dreams."
"Please be prepared for paranormal activity if you decide to adopt sweet Lillian," writes Fayetallity. "Be assured—she is an innocent, pure child of white light. Nothing negative will ever arise from Lillian. She is beyond kind. When you feel Lillian's presence, you feel how pure her intentions are. Lillian reduces anxiety, and keeps negative feelings as well as entities at bay. She is truly a spiritual presence that will make a believer."
Full story at site
