School Reunions

Thanks to all for your inputs, you've echoed thoughts (both pro and con) I've had about attending. At this point I'm undecided, but I've got several weeks yet to decide.

Paul's post reminded me of a chance meeting with a high school classmate back several years ago. As I was checking in to vote at my local polling place, I noticed a fairly attractive lady about my age at the sign in table next to me. After we had both cast our votes and where leaving the building, she approached and asked if I was (me.) After I confirmed who I was, she identified herself by her maiden name and said we had graduated together. I honestly told her I was sorry, but I didn't remember her. She responded I should remember her, she was a varsity cheerleader. She seemed genuinely stunned that tidbit didn't improve my memory.
I couldn't tell if she was hurt or insulted, but we parted company somewhat awkwardly. I recall thinking it was kinda sad this woman still self identified as a high school cheerleader some forty years after her last "sis boom bah."
It’s always sad when you peek in high school and consider that the glory days.
 
Extreme necroposting here, but I wanted to respond to this at the time as my reunion really changed the way my whole view on my teenage years, but never got it together to write it down.
So, in my thirties I was invited to a school reunion, organised by Charity back when I used to hang out with her and Alan (now my neighbour) in a pub. Alan didn't want to go, but after making sure that Rowan wasn't invited (because **** Rowan) agreed to go, though with the usual nervousness. She found most of them from Facebook or staying in touch, and me from just happening to walk into a pub I was in on evening, but my best friends were still missing. Still, it would be good to see people again.
So... it was quite a night. We met at a bad pub, but one with big enough tables that we could hang around at and not too loud. The first thing was how... bald most of the guys were! There were only two of us there who didn't have bald patches. The other was James who was the nicest guy at school and won the reunion. He was with his girlfriend and they clearly loved each other to bits. He had a steady job which... Well when we were at school he used to always be off sick any time a new hotly anticipated game came out, and he still did that now, but both girlfriend and employers seemed happy to indulge him on his one flaw. I was really happy for him.
The major part of the night for me was later though, when I found myself sat at a big table as the only guy with a lot of the girls I went to school with (being organised by a girl, the invite list skewed girl heavy) and found out what they really thought about me.
To give some perspective, I was a wreck at secondary (high) school. I had a bad first year. I was in a class with no friends and the worst part was when Allison asked me out on behalf of her friend Amanda. (I was 12) Amanda was way out of my league and I could not believe what was happening. Break time came and was awkward. Very awkward. Neither of us spoke or looked each other in the eye and it seemed like every girl in school was following us... and not far away, but really close, like an audience! I just snapped! It was obviously a prank and not a well hidden one, so I stormed off.

Fast forward, I said that I felt they were... off with me.. standoffish all the way through school, at which several reacted angrily that it was because of what I did to Amanda. Amanda really loved me, they said and I really hurt her.
I said that Amanda was way out of my league and they said that Amanda was a shy nervous girl (seems nobody else saw her that way). I asked why they were all following her and they said it was because they were worried that I might hurt her. I did hurt her and was hurt myself because they were following us!!! But they didn't believe it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Duke
Extreme necroposting here, but I wanted to respond to this at the time as my reunion really changed the way my whole view on my teenage years, but never got it together to write it down.
So, in my thirties I was invited to a school reunion, organised by Charity back when I used to hang out with her and Alan (now my neighbour) in a pub. Alan didn't want to go, but after making sure that Rowan wasn't invited (because **** Rowan) agreed to go, though with the usual nervousness. She found most of them from Facebook or staying in touch, and me from just happening to walk into a pub I was in on evening, but my best friends were still missing. Still, it would be good to see people again.
So... it was quite a night. We met at a bad pub, but one with big enough tables that we could hang around at and not too loud. The first thing was how... bald most of the guys were! There were only two of us there who didn't have bald patches. The other was James who was the nicest guy at school and won the reunion. He was with his girlfriend and they clearly loved each other to bits. He had a steady job which... Well when we were at school he used to always be off sick any time a new hotly anticipated game came out, and he still did that now, but both girlfriend and employers seemed happy to indulge him on his one flaw. I was really happy for him.
The major part of the night for me was later though, when I found myself sat at a big table as the only guy with a lot of the girls I went to school with (being organised by a girl, the invite list skewed girl heavy) and found out what they really thought about me.
To give some perspective, I was a wreck at secondary (high) school. I had a bad first year. I was in a class with no friends and the worst part was when Allison asked me out on behalf of her friend Amanda. (I was 12) Amanda was way out of my league and I could not believe what was happening. Break time came and was awkward. Very awkward. Neither of us spoke or looked each other in the eye and it seemed like every girl in school was following us... and not far away, but really close, like an audience! I just snapped! It was obviously a prank and not a well hidden one, so I stormed off.

Fast forward, I said that I felt they were... off with me.. standoffish all the way through school, at which several reacted angrily that it was because of what I did to Amanda. Amanda really loved me, they said and I really hurt her.
I said that Amanda was way out of my league and they said that Amanda was a shy nervous girl (seems nobody else saw her that way). I asked why they were all following her and they said it was because they were worried that I might hurt her. I did hurt her and was hurt myself because they were following us!!! But they didn't believe it.
Man, you went digging to find this thread! lol Good story.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Benway
They had been angry at me all the way through school because of it. They would not believe my explanation!

I said it wasn't easy being unpopular... at which point they all started yelling. I was unpopular in my first year, and later I suffered from severe depression, but covered it with jokes and bravado in public. But I did spend the whole time feeling alone and suffering. Later I went on medication and got counselling, but I never got over it till I got a job. School was too much.
They pointed out that I had a lot of friends... and I couldn't argue with that.
They pointed out that I had a birthday party with boys and girls and that everyone went and liked it and that I got invited to things... It really punched a hole in my sense of reality because I'd been remembering things through the filter of depression. I realised that I had been happy... a lot, but when I was alone, my mind had warped things.

I said that I was lonely... that it wasn't fun going through school with no girlfriend, because while I might have had friends no girls were interested in me. This prompted outrage! Most of them had had a friend who fancied me, but I'd been too 'aloof' to notice them. Though absolutely nobody who was there that night, obviously. This was really jaw dropping! I thought I was some hideous elephant man like figure at school, so... but they hated me too, for not being interested... and I really really was!

I explained (after a stiff drink and feeling dizzy) that I was not aloof! I was cripplingly shy. I may have made a lot of jokes, but that was a defense mechanism! I was terrified of everyone! Girls more than anything!

'You were not!!!'

'I had no girlfriend all the way through school! How do you ex...'

'Don't lie! Not now! You had a girlfriend! That girl from another school! Who was so much better that everyone else!'

They thought my fear of talking to them was arrogance because I had an impossibly hot girlfriend from another school who nobody had ever seen!

I said, 'I wish she'd told me!'

I tried to explain that I was not really that cool and did not have a super hot girlfriend and actually was really lonely and scared like anyone, but no. I was wrong. They would not believe that I was single the whole time. Everyone knew about my girlfriend!
 
Last edited:
Thanks for resurrecting this thread, Ben, I'd forgotten I started it. I also realized I forgot to relate what happened. I did go, wound up having a good time and talking to a lot of people. The most memorable was a female classmate who I thought was way out of my league in high school, she told me she always wanted to go out with me and was disappointed I never asked her out. I was stunned. She seemed equally surprised I thought she was too attractive/popular to go out with me. I wonder how many people, especially the young, hold themselves back due to their insecurities and low self esteem?
 
Thanks for resurrecting this thread, Ben, I'd forgotten I started it. I also realized I forgot to relate what happened. I did go, wound up having a good time and talking to a lot of people. The most memorable was a female classmate who I thought was way out of my league in high school, she told me she always wanted to go out with me and was disappointed I never asked her out. I was stunned. She seemed equally surprised I thought she was too attractive/popular to go out with me. I wonder how many people, especially the young, hold themselves back due to their insecurities and low self esteem?
Yes! I'd guess most. I can certainly relate. I think the big point of my reunion was about putting people on pedestals instead of just talking to them. I'd like to say that I was over that now, but probably not! Oh well.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Duke
I wasn't ever invited. I was shuffled around from school to school because of my dad's previous occupation and I'd mostly given up on making friends at that time anyway. It's a long story, but like Debi said, I didn't have anything in common with mine either.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Benway and Debi
I'm really not sure how I feel about my reunion. Completely worth it to find out some truths, and I really appreciated finding out that girls didn't hate me for how I looked, but finding out they all hated me for how I acted because of how I thought they all hated me because of my looks wasn't great.

As a postscript, some years after the Amanda disaster, we met outside school at a youth club disco and slow danced for a few songs at the end of the night with nobody staring at us. We never dared to kiss or really talk and just went back to being really shy and too scared of each other, but it's a better, and happier ending than the reunion might suggest. We had one moment!
 
  • Like
Reactions: 7Critter and Debi