Oh... I don't think writing the next bit all in one go is going to be a good idea. I'm just going to write when I can.
21 part 2
It had to be about 1am. Time to go home. Feeling really good I got up and headed for the nearest gate. I went out and turned right towards home and took a step.
It's not like a sudden cut. There's a blur like being asleep and then
I'm terrified! That was everything. I wrote about unnatural fear in the other occurrences, but this was far beyond even that. The fear was so overwhelming that I had no idea who I was and not just where I was but the idea of being anything or anywhere. It was just fear and that was the world. Coming to my senses probably seemed to take longer than it did in that state flooded with adrenaline. I realised that I was somebody and that I was somewhere and that I had to keep running as fast as I could and not stop no matter what and not look back. Because they were behind me and couldn't catch me! That was not an option. I remembered who I was and everything I've related so far. I saw that it was night and that I was running through a suburban area on pavements past two storey houses. I didn't recognise anything. I realised that I was running across roads without looking but being hit by a car was nothing! I had to keep going! All of this was at a deep level, not conscious thought. I mentioned that I was a decent sprinter. I was sprinting at 100m dash speed but for far longer. I wouldn't have thought it possible and even taking into account the way that time seems stretched in stressful situations I must have covered a ridiculous distance! I'd made them angry! I had a stitch. Several! My legs were on fire and my heart was bursting. I was breathing in deep measured gulps, my lungs burning. I still can't believe how far I ran at that speed. It felt like I was tearing my body apart, but I knew that I'd made them angry and nothing was worth the slightest drop in pace.
Eventually I realised that nothing bad was happening to me and chanced a look back. Nothing. I kept running, but I came back to myself and realised that I was talking. I was reciting a long passage over and over like a mantra. I kept running but began to listen to myself. Please bear with me here, because this is where things get really strange.
It was a message. From me to me. I'd known I was going to lose all memory of what had happened so I'd begun to recite a list of facts and messages over and over so that it would be reflex and not require conscious thought. I listened to me.
I'm sorry but that's where I'm leaving it for today. The next part really is a monster of a post in content at least and is what I've desperately wanted to talk about. And besides who could resist a good cliffhanger like that? I felt I needed to tell the whole story first and have gotten more out of the discussion here than I'd hoped for. I never intended to ever tell anybody about this and at the time decided to abandon all enquiry into UFOs, close encounters and related subjects. I didn't write anything down (hence not having a date for this). My message also omitted things I thought I would be better off not knowing, but there's enough.
After nearly twenty years I've changed my mind though. So take this delay as a small one in the grand scheme of things.As for why I changed my mind? At the time the internet really wasn't a big thing. I found out about something that upset me, but which I could do nothing about, so forgetting it was the sane thing to do. Since then the internet has taken off and... I've watched in growing dismay as it's been overrun with the extraterrestrial hypothesis, ancient aliens, (US) government conspiracies and culminating in the disclosure movement, in which thousands believe without question in a story for which they have no proof, stop asking questions and place all hope in waiting for the government they accuse of being liars to validate them rather than asking questions!
I know as well as I can know anything that things thousands (millions?) of people think about UFOs and abductions and other subjects are just plain wrong and though I don't remember the important bits I know that some things are wrong and other people may be in a position to do something. I don't think that this forum is a place where anything I say will change the world but it is somewhere where I feel comfortable coming out about this and where I know I'll get some thoughtful feedback. I don't have any answers, but I do know that some things are just flat out wrong and that is helpful. And I think it's wrong to stay quiet about anything to do with this with the massive derailment of enquiry on the paranormal that has happened.
I hope that won't be taken as being pompous or self important. It's just something that bothers me and I don't delude myself into thinking that I know everything and don't want to give the impression that I am grimly typing away at The Truth. That attitude is a killer.
So I'll finish by saying happy birthday Jadamz!