You have to move...

[surge]

One of those giant sinkholes has opened up in your back yard, and the big brains confirm that at the current rate of growth it will swallow your home in a week. In an unusual gesture of cooperation, your insurance company has agreed to pay off immediately, and is at your door with a check. (Hey, I know a meteor is more likely to strike the earth in Kansas City and come out through the Indian Ocean... work with me!) So the question is, where do you go?

Would you stay in the same area where you live now, or would you relocate to a different state? A different country, perhaps?

I can honestly say, in complete Charlie Brown fashion, that I don't know what I would do. While my only connection to this area is my wife's family, I have come to really love this little community that we moved into and have become a part of. I know my neighbors, and we watch out for and help each other. I can honestly say that I'm happy here, even though having to make a 20-30 minute drive to do more than basic shopping took some adjusting to. Or re-adjusting, I suppose, since that was my situation growing up in small-town Missouri.

Of course on the flip side is that my boys are in suburban Kansas City, still in the town we lived in for so many years before moving here. The parental need to be close to your kids does have a certain pull, but I suspect they are both enjoying life without mom and dad in the same town always offering them unwanted advice about one thing or another.

I suppose in the end I'd probably stay in the general area where I am now. It has become home, and there is a sense of community and friendliness that I just never felt in KC. Too many people worried about their own world there... here, strangers greet you with a smile and a "howdy" or "how do", and if you need help with something it sometimes just shows up without asking. Case in point: one of those prefab utility buildings that looks like a barn was on the property when we bought it. It was old, and the siding was in a pretty sorry state, but the bones were good. Last spring, I decided to tear off the old siding and replace it with plywood. It was a job I could do by myself, even though having help would have made it easier. My neighbor saw me outside working, came over and offered his help. That's what would keep me here.

 

[Debi]

lol Hubs and I just talked about this very thing on Saturday! Love it how there seems to be some synchronistic connection on this forum!

I'd move to Peoria to be near the littles. (Grandkids.) BUT, I'd want a vacation home in Key West. Loved that crazy place. That's close enough to St. Pete to visit the other set of kids, who are older, but wild enough to get my dose of crazy fun people watching. Never met more eclectic, laid back, off the wall people than my trip to the Keys. Besides, it's a beautiful place to watch the sun go down.

 

[Lazarus]

lol Hubs and I just talked about this very thing on Saturday! Love it how there seems to be some synchronistic connection on this forum!

I'd move to Peoria to be near the littles. (Grandkids.) BUT, I'd want a vacation home in Key West. Loved that crazy place. That's close enough to St. Pete to visit the other set of kids, who are older, but wild enough to get my dose of crazy fun people watching. Never met more eclectic, laid back, off the wall people than my trip to the Keys. Besides, it's a beautiful place to watch the sun go down.

Well said about the "eclectic" and a better word would be hard to find.

We have plans(me and my daughter's family) to move down on our gulf coast where my other daughter and family are living. (her husband is from that area) sometime in the future, in a little place called Ocean Springs. Katrina reduced her down to a smaller size. Except both me and my daughter who lives here are leery of hurricanes. But one can always flee north to the old homeplace here.

We have a weird State here in Mississippi. You can draw a ling from Jackson, extending east and the people below that line are much different than the people above that line. This is because the Bible Black South is in this northern part, and as you move south, it lightens up and the people are just different, but in a good way. Much more friendlier, which is odd considering one would think the church goers would be more friendly, but that isn't the case. What they are, are much more judgmental, and tend to look down the nose at people like me who have left organized Christianity. So, the atmosphere south of here is much better for people like me.

At this time in my life, I just want to be close to my kids, son in laws(great men) and grandkids, for that is all that is important to me these days. Yet, I have never ever interfered in either of their lives, and would never do that, given that my own mom was the worst at interfering in the lives of her own kids, like me. I made a vow early on if I ever had kids, to be there for them if they needed me, but to keep my nose out of their lives, which I have done quite well, once they got married and had their own families. I am very sensitive to this, and so when my oldest daughter first mentioned moving down to be closer to her sister, she told me she wasn't going if I did not move with them as well.

Gosh, you people know more about my life than my friends do here. LOL.

 

[Debi]

And we're soo glad you share with us, Laz!

We have that "line" you speak of here in Indiana....we call it the Indiana Mason/Dixon line. Above I-70 is the Northern folks who are connected to the Chicago life style. Below that line seems to be the rural country folk who are more in line with the Kentuckiana life style. It's also kind of weird that our storms here track either above or below that line, pretty much splitting the weather pattern.

I've also taken your stance on keeping my mouth shut on my kid's life's. My mom was the uber controller and I made the same vow as you did. Nothing worse than a nagging MIL with too many opinions about how to live a life!

 

[Lazarus]

And we're soo glad you share with us, Laz!

We have that "line" you speak of here in Indiana....we call it the Indiana Mason/Dixon line. Above I-70 is the Northern folks who are connected to the Chicago life style. Below that line seems to be the rural country folk who are more in line with the Kentuckiana life style. It's also kind of weird that our storms here track either above or below that line, pretty much splitting the weather pattern.

I've also taken your stance on keeping my mouth shut on my kid's life's. My mom was the uber controller and I made the same vow as you did. Nothing worse than a nagging MIL with too many opinions about how to live a life!

I love and cherish my mom, but when she was younger, she really seemed to thrive on keeping stuff stirred up. Made my life far more complicated than I found comfortable. Thankfully as she aged, (she is now 82) she has mellowed out quite nicely and no longer expends energy in that direction. I think as she got closer to facing the inevitable death of the body, she found something and it changed her behavior and even the tone of her speech.

 

[Naked Apple]

I think I'd move to the middle. The way Debi described it, it sounds ideal. I am often jealous of the characters in the sitcom The Middle. The are so normal. NY is like a double edged sword. Sure there are a LOT of things to do, places to go, etc but unless you have a lot of money, you are not doing any of those things regularly. Instead you are putting up with all the crap that goes along with city living. There is no real sense of community since you really don't speak to your neighbors. It seems intrusive. Same goes for work. People just go, do their jobs and go home. Sure there may be some friendly people, but it is not a close friendship. Just work. Then there is the multiculturalism. It seems like there are more immigrants to NY than actual NY'ers born and raised here. Again, this does not contribute to any sense of community or continuity. Also, people move around a lot for one reason or another. Again, no sense of community.

 

[Debi]

I think I'd move to the middle. The way Debi described it, it sounds ideal. I am often jealous of the characters in the sitcom The Middle. The are so normal. NY is like a double edged sword. Sure there are a LOT of things to do, places to go, etc but unless you have a lot of money, you are not doing any of those things regularly. Instead you are putting up with all the crap that goes along with city living. There is no real sense of community since you really don't speak to your neighbors. It seems intrusive. Same goes for work. People just go, do their jobs and go home. Sure there may be some friendly people, but it is not a close friendship. Just work. Then there is the multiculturalism. It seems like there are more immigrants to NY than actual NY'ers born and raised here. Again, this does not contribute to any sense of community or continuity. Also, people move around a lot for one reason or another. Again, no sense of community.

We'd be glad to have ya! Of course, we'd have to teach you how to slow down and enjoy life a bit, how to wave at farmers on tractors, and how to understand the local language...creek is pronounced "Crick," you don't go TO the doctor you "doctor" an illness, etc. If you ever decide to visit the middle, let me know. Be glad to have you and introduce you to life in the slow(er) lane!

 

[surge]

...have never ever interfered in either of their lives, and would never do that...

...keeping my mouth shut...

Okay, I feel the need to clarify something here. When I spoke of offering unwanted advice, that's not in the area of how my kids choose to live their lives. It's more in the area of trying to keep them financially responsible so we don't end up supporting them again.

 

[Lazarus]

I think I'd move to the middle. The way Debi described it, it sounds ideal. I am often jealous of the characters in the sitcom The Middle. The are so normal. NY is like a double edged sword. Sure there are a LOT of things to do, places to go, etc but unless you have a lot of money, you are not doing any of those things regularly. Instead you are putting up with all the crap that goes along with city living. There is no real sense of community since you really don't speak to your neighbors. It seems intrusive. Same goes for work. People just go, do their jobs and go home. Sure there may be some friendly people, but it is not a close friendship. Just work. Then there is the multiculturalism. It seems like there are more immigrants to NY than actual NY'ers born and raised here. Again, this does not contribute to any sense of community or continuity. Also, people move around a lot for one reason or another. Again, no sense of community.

Wow. I couldn't put up with that crap. I have heard what you have said before, that neighbors hardly speak to one another in the cities and having been in big cities in my life, I have witnessed the same thing, but I feel sad about it. For one could be really alone, living in such a place. Surrounded by others, but always being a stranger to them. I think it would kill me. I would die of heartache. For I need other people.

 

[Debi]

Okay, I feel the need to clarify something here. When I spoke of offering unwanted advice, that's not in the area of how my kids choose to live their lives. It's more in the area of trying to keep them financially responsible so we don't end up supporting them again.

LOL! No problem! I was more referring to being one of those mothers who have constant advice on how to raise children! My mom was relentless on that point.